adultery, Betrayal, cheating, children, divorce, hypocrisy, in-laws, Janice Andrews, parenting after separation, relationships, single parent, the other woman

“You will always be our daughter-in-law”

Oh, the sentimental cliché that was uttered to me by my mother-in-law in the weeks following her realization that her son had in fact been cheating on me with another woman and had walked away from me and our children to pursue a relationship with Janice Andrews.

Fast forward 5 1/2 years and in that time there has been one phone call by my mother-in-law with my father-in-law on the other end and they brought me a birthday gift when they were in town 4 months later to see my daughter dance.  Then…crickets. I reached out once by email to my in-laws, including my brother-in-law, about my ex’s disturbing behavior and my concern but no response. They have been to visit their son at least once/year and never once have they called or wanted to see me. I have seen them in passing at my daughter’s dance recitals during their visit but that was it.  My father-in-law, in particular, especially during his visit this year, was extremely cold.

Two things got me thinking about this phrase. Firstly, I had coffee this morning with a friend of mine in her late 70’s and her husband in his 80’s. I have know their son and daughter-in-law for over 20 years.  Their daughter-in-law had an affair on their son over a year ago and destroyed their marriage. There is no chance of reconciliation. Yet, even though their son was betrayed (and the details and consequences for him as a result of the affair were severe–he lead a church and lost his job) have indicated she will always be their daughter-in-law and they have proven it by continuing to have a close and personal relationship with her. My friend told me, “I forgive her.”

We talked about another couple that we both know, who are my age with 2 girls the same age as my girls. They are part of our little circle of church connections who migrated to Vancouver Island at the same time and who have also recently split.  She told me that my girlfriend told her mother-in-law (we are also friends with her mother and father-in-law) she was so afraid she would lose her in the split.  Her mother-in-law replied, “You will always be my daughter-in-law” and they continue to hike and kayak together even though her mother-in-law has fallen into a deep depression over the split and also as a result of her husband’s recent Parkinson’s Disease diagnosis.

My friend asked me this morning if I had a relationship with my in-laws.  They had met them at our house during one of their visits.  I told her that I did not.  She was sorry.  I didn’t cheat on their son so why did they betray me too? Why is that my friend is still able to embrace the daughter-in-law who has hurt her son and grandchildren and the rest of their family so cruelly and my in-laws don’t care about the mother who is trying so hard to raise their grandchildren despite everything their son has done to tear apart their lives.

Secondly, my ex sent me a bizarre email. This was a comment that he wrote at the end of a long rant about something completely unrelated:

Do you think (my mom’s name) would act or request the things you do? She was selfless and always acted with kindness and regard for others. She always made a point of being inclusive when others were trying to exclude, such as (my brother-in-law’s name). You should try acting and honouring your mother rather than being the antithesis of everything she was and stood for.”

I have no idea why my ex suddenly brought my mom into his email and I was trying to understand why he was feeling excluded.  He is correct that even after my sister and her husband separated my mom invited my brother-in-law to every birthday and special occasion dinner.  It caused tension sometimes, especially for my sister, but we all see now how beneficial it was to everyone in the family in the long run and how amazing my mom was to put her relationship with my sister on the line to do what she felt was right and loving for her grandchildren especially but for the family as a whole because we are all still family. My mom practiced love and would have without a doubt, if she was here, done the same for my ex.  I don’t think, however, he would have had the courage to step into her circle of love. A lot of my family did reach out to my ex after our split but he didn’t answer or return any of their calls.  My girls have asked him to do things with me and them together but he has always refused. I told my ex, I would do things with him and our girls and put everything aside for those moments they needed for their well-being but he would not even try. He excluded himself. If he loved my mom so much as he claims that he did, why isn’t he honouring her by acting the way he says she acted.  He loves to tell me what I “should” do and hold me to some standard while ignoring it himself. It is he who is the “antithesis”.

When I told my ex that I had no understanding of his comments about my mom and his feelings of being excluded in context to his email subject he responded:

“You’re exactly right you don’t understand. My point was that your mother didn’t take sides. She didn’t get caught up in the politics. She didn’t hold grudges. She didn’t try to paint people in a negative light. She looked for ways to try and draw people together despite difficult and challenging life situations. (My brother-in-law’s name) was a perfect example. He didn’t pay a dime of child or spousal support. Your sister didn’t want him around for family functions but your mother would always invite him. Make sure it was about the children and there being able to spend time with their Dad. Despite the fact that she may not have agreed or been happy with (my brother in-law’s name), she never spoke negatively in front of the kids and was trying to make the best of the situation. Completely opposite of what you have chosen to do.”

He praises my mom’s behavior but it is the complete opposite of what he and his family have done.  I have no intention of ever doing anything with Janice Andrews but I have offered on many occasions to do the “family” thing for my girls. Maybe my ex should be sending his praise of my mom’s nature to his parents.  After all, it was his mom that told my daughter this summer, “Your mom will always be our daughter-in-law but your dad is our son.”  In reality her words are backed up by “Your mom will always be our daughter-in-law but we choose to wish the mistress Happy Birthday on Facebook instead.”

 

 

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adultery, affair, anger, children, divorce, Father/daughter relationship, Janice Andrews, rejection, single parent

Company BBQ versus Daughter

At 2:45 p.m. today my 16-year old daughter angrily stormed through the door demanding if I had checked my phone. I told her that I had just walked in following my meeting with MLA,  Adam Olsen, regarding the housing crisis in our area. She knew that after I dropped her off at the dance studio at 10:00 a.m. that I was going to the vet to pick up pet food and then heading to a round table community discussion prior to our MLA heading back to the provincial fall legislature.  My daughter was working at the dance studio assisting in 2 Acro classes and having lunch with her dad afterwards.

“Well dad stranded me at the studio, ” she announced.  It was the last class and she had no bus ticket and no money and no one there to drive her home. The person she was assisting did lend her bus money but now she hadn’t eaten, had to get ready to leave for work in less than an hour and had been fighting a cold for the week that had left her with little sleep.

I try to have as little contact with my ex as possible but standing up for my children is one area that I get involved.  This is the email that I sent him:

“It is unfortunate that after all these years you still choose to spend weekends that are set aside for you to be with your children to do your own thing.

I dropped Lauren off at the dance studio this morning and she said that you were picking her up for lunch. She just walked in the door to say that she was “stranded” at the studio. She had no bus tickets, no money and you chose to go to Parksville instead of picking her up.

It is yet another time that you let (our daughter) down and failed to honour your commitment.

His response:

“Get the facts straight before you open your mouth yet again. (Our daughter) told me last night she was done at 12:30. We were going to have lunch and then I was going to Parksville for my company BBQ. She texted at 11:45 to say oops I gave you the wrong time I’m actually not done until 1:30. I told her that would be a bit late for me as I was hoping to be on the road by 1:30-2pm. She said she could get a ride with Jade. I asked her to make sure she had one and she said she did.

So long and short is you’re misinformed….again.”

My response:

“Exactly my point. You choose to leave Lauren stranded because of what you were hoping to do to make your life easier to suit your plans. If you cared anything about her and spending time with her you would have said that was okay. Really, a whole hour is going to mess up your important company BBQ plans? Do you know how many people I know that don’t go to personal functions because they choose to be with their children instead? Do you have any idea how many events I have not been able to attend because I am a single mom first and that is pretty much 100% of the time even if you pretend to be involved for an hour/week. Because of your response she was not going to contact you back regardless of her situation as she cannot count on her dad to be there for her. How many times does she really want to be rejected by you and feel like she is your burden? She did not have a ride with Jade because Jade was babysitting right after teaching. How do you think it makes her feel to have you set aside a whole hour to spend time with her (12:30 to 1:30 was your plan right?). Not very special I suspect. And then for her to feel like even for an hour she is an inconvenience to your plans. She said that she just assumed that I would come for her because I always come for her (she doesn’t know how many dropped plans I have had to do because I would never say, “I was hoping to not get you so I could do this instead.”) Who says that to their kids? Who tries to make their kids feel like an inconvenience? I am always there for her to pick up when you bail or when you never make plans with her on your weekend in the first place, but unfortunately I was in a meeting with Adam Olsen and did not have my phone on. I shouldn’t have to feel badly because I wasn’t there for her when her father was supposed to be there. Thankfully, Jade had $2.50 to lend her to take the bus. I really hope that at the very least, as an apology, you will buy her a sheet of bus tickets, and give those to her telling her to set them aside for every time you fail to show up as planned.

 

 

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adultery, affair, anger, Betrayal, children, divorce, Father/daughter relationship, in-laws, Janice Andrews, other woman, rejection

Saying “NO!” to a parent has bigger meaning

My younger daughter said to me on Wednesday night, “I was with dad from 5:15 p.m. until 8:30 p.m.”  She said that was the longest amount of time she had been with him and that it was awkward.  He picked her up at our home and then they picked up my other daughter at her work and went to the mall to look into my older daughter’s phone issues and to have dinner.  Three hours with their dad that involved about 1 hour of driving time to various places seemed so out of the ordinary to her that it was note worthy for her to mention it.

I asked her if she looked for the shoes and pants that she wanted for back to school when they were at the mall.  She said that she would not shop with her dad.  He has tried to buy her things in the past.  Once when they were in Vancouver she said he kept offering to buy this and that but she said, “No” to everything. When they were in Ontario this summer she had forgot her sunglasses and he offered to buy her a $40 pair because he felt she needed them and he told her that they looked good on her.  She wanted them as well but she refuses to let her dad think he can buy her things and some how that will make up for everything he took from her.  She would also never tell him what she really needs.

Janice, it was pointed out to me, is quite happy on the other hand for Dave to buy her everything. The only thing my daughter said that she has ever seen her buy in 5 plus years is an Imax movie ticket because she has a pass.  It is like my daughter feels as dirty as his whore if he spends money on her.  She does not want to be that person. She is the Taurus of the family and is very bull-headed and strong in her convictions. She is insightful and I am very proud of her for making a stand and putting up a boundary that she considers important to how she feels about herself and her relationship with her father.  Although when I reflect, I think that her saying “No” to him is her way of rejecting him. She is rejecting him the way he has done to her and continues to do to her on various levels.

On Saturday, she and I were about to go for a hike with our dog.  My older daughter came up and said, “Dad is picking us up at noon for lunch.”  My younger daughter was annoyed, “Why didn’t he text me to tell me?”  My older daughter remarked that he texted her and probably assumed that she would just tell her.  She looked at me and asked if she should still go on the hike or just stay at home and get ready.  I told her it wasn’t even 10:00 a.m. so we had time to go for a short hike. I got her back by 11:00 a.m. only for her to be told by her sister that their dad didn’t know she would be going for lunch too and he didn’t think he would be able to get her back in time to work at 4:00 p.m.  Now my younger daughter was even more annoyed.  She said to me, “Good thing I didn’t decide to not go on the hike.”  I felt so badly for her that I said that I would take her for lunch.  We left before her dad arrived.

That night she told me that she arranged to work during the school year on Wednesday and Saturday nights. Wednesday is the only night she doesn’t dance during the week and is the night that she usually has dinner with her dad. She told me, “I probably won’t be seeing dad at all next year.”  I suggested that maybe her dad would pick her up earlier after school on a night that she starts dance a little later so she can have a bite to eat with him and I reminded her that he would probably still try to pick her up every other Friday for dinner and maybe a lunch every other Saturday or Sunday.

The other thing she told me that seemed to bother her was that when she was in Ontario with Dave and his parents over the summer her nanny, Dave’s mom, said to her, “Your mom will always be my daughter-in-law but your dad is my son”, and then she hugged him.  I even cringed when she told me that happened because his mom told me as well that I would always be their daughter-in-law. She just skipped the part about putting her cheating son on a pedestal.  Regardless, they were just empty words.  There is zero relationship.  Twenty three years of fakeness because if there was any love or care for me and my children I would hear from them. To my daughter, she just heard her grandmother say that I am less than when I am the most important person in her life. Does she hear her grandmother say that she would choose her son over her, too?  What does that teach my child about love; who is worthy of her love and why (full blood relation, number of years known) when my daughter has experienced love and what must feel like hate and knows the truth about which parent has always been there for her and which parent rejected her.

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adultery, affair, cheating, children, divorce, ex spouse, infidelity, Janice Andrews, marriage, other woman, separatiion

How “The Other Woman” Thinks: Part II

I was very disappointed to learn that the wife of a couple, who my ex and I have known for about 20 years, cheated on her husband.  They have 3 kids ages 16 to 22.  Her husband had to drive to another city to find her and bring her home. They are separated and the husband lives with their youngest daughter.  The other 2 children go to college. Their son wants nothing to do with his mother and refused to celebrate Christmas with her.

What was shocking and interesting at the same time to me was that the cheating wife said that there is no one that will ever love her like her husband does and she hopes that in 3 years they can remarry. That instantly flashed me back to a May 2013 phone conversation with my ex where he said, 2 1/2 months post separation, that he would need to be gone for a year and then he would come back.  What fantasy land do these cheaters live in?

The betrayed husband of this couple had the same reaction that I did towards my ex.  He wants nothing to do with her.  And like most spouses of cheaters, he too was left to handle all the responsibilities of real life. He is still friendly with her and he pays her spousal support with no court order telling him to do so.  He also is paying for all of the children’s expenses and taking care of the full needs of their youngest daughter. His expenses are about $6000 US/month and he will not be able to maintain this but this is the sad reality of these situations.

Cheaters possess a selfish, escape from reality need to seek some instant gratifying, ego-stroking attention that leads them to a place they think they can return from when they are ready and everyone will just wait and be thrilled they are back.  They seek some band aid  cover up to whatever they are too emotionally immature to communicate or comprehend on any deep level. To me, it mimics high school infatuation where kids jump from one relationship to the next based on feelings and hormones.

So in follow up to my blog post “How the Other Woman thinks Part I” I went to Janice Andrews Twitter account to share 10 recent retweets (because she has no original thought of her own) to learn how her thinking aligns with that of a cheater.  It sounds exactly like she has the insight and life experience of a teenager where love is based in fantasy, not real life.

January 10, 2018:

“Real love doesn’t meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess.” J.S. Park

December 30, 2017: here’s your reminder list of cute things:
• you
• also you
• hey look you
• and you
• wait wait wait
• you
• you’re cute

December 3, 2017:

“I hope we last. I hope we do.

But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me:

I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable – only for you though, only for you.

Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too.

If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending.

Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.”

November 20, 2017:

“Choose people who choose you.”

November 21, 2017: 

“excuse me. I just wanted. to. remind you. that. this love I have. is for you.”

November 21, 2017:

“Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that you can make anything happen.”–Goethe

November 21, 2017:

“Just be like a child. Embrace your ignorance. Love unconditionally. And don’t take anything too seriously. Especially yourself.”

November 22, 2017:

“Don’t get stuck in what might have been. It prevents you from going after what might become.”

November 22, 2017:

“You are a warrior and these are your weapons: kindness, gentleness, patience, presence, understanding, peace, love, restraint.”

November 15, 2017: “21 ways to keep her”

  1. Text her back as soon as you see her messages
  2. Don’t lie to her
  3. Don’t let her fall asleep without telling her you love her
  4. Don’t let her fall asleep mad
  5. Don’t make stupid mistakes
  6. Call her and say you love her at least once a week
  7. Make time for her
  8. Don’t get mad at her for dumb things
  9. If you have a reason to be mad at her then talk about it and work it through
  10. Listen to her, anything she says is important
  11. Remind her of how beautiful she looks when she smiles
  12. Don’t build walls between you two
  13. Trust her enough to tell her how you really feel
  14. Make her remember she is yours every time you kiss her
  15. Show her songs, poems, anything that reminds you of her
  16. Call her baby, babe, beautiful, etc. all the time
  17. Don’t break her heart
  18. Hold her hand in public no matter who is looking
  19. Don’t take her for granted
  20. Be spontaneous when you take her out
  21. Love her with every breath of your existence

 

 

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adultery, affair, Betrayal, Bible, Christianity, Christmas, divorce, faith, God, infidelity, Janice Andrews, Love, lying, marriage, promises, Spirituality

The Ghosts of Christmas

The Ghost of Christmas Past:

Spent my 4th Christmas post-affair. I honestly don’t look back and long for the Christmas’ with my ex. We always had great celebrations whether it was commuting to the three sets of parents’ homes all in different cities and sometimes my birth father’s side of the family as well or whether it was just the 4 of us after our move to British Columbia. All good memories (except our last Christmas together when my ex was already involved with Janice and ignored me at his company Xmas party and over-drank and was obnoxious at my sister’s place during our family celebration and then was rude and impatient with me the next morning).

The Ghost of Christmas Present:

This was the first year my ex purchased a gift for the girls to give to Janice. He gave it to my younger daughter to bring home and wrap. I have no idea what it was–something from The Body Shop I think based on one of the bags she left at our front entrance. When she told me she had to wrap a gift for Janice I asked if her dad bought her paper. No, she was expected to use my wrapping paper. No idea what paper she chose or what it looked it–bows, ribbons, tag, etc. I wonder if Janice really opened it up and thought how nice that the girls shopped for her and chose something for her. Something as special as soap. Guess it is Dave’s way to pretend it is a family Xmas where everyone exchanges gifts and niceties out of love for each other.

The girls and I had a very fun Christmas Eve. I gave them their traditional Xmas pajamas gift to open and they immediately put them on. We took selfies on my bed with all the pets and stayed up very late.

Christmas morning was relaxed and fun. I went on a walk with the dog in the afternoon and we went to our friends’ farm for dinner.  Our friends said that it made their Christmas table much more lively having us there. We played a game afterwards with presents and came home with a new disco snowman and a disco tree decoration.

The Ghost of Christmas Future:

As I celebrated the birth of Christ, I was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future. It came in the form of scripture.

I was reminded that for me to know Jesus requires that I share in his sufferings (Romans 8:17). Betrayal was the biggest part of his suffering and now I know what it feels like to be betrayed by the one who knew me the best and who I loved the most and who should have loved me back the most in this world.

NIV Galatians 6:17 “Let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” That is a warning for Janice and Dave. For me Jesus says in NIV John 16:33: “In this world you will have trouble.” Jesus tells me though to take heart because he overcame the world and I will, too!  In this same scripture Jesus says to have peace despite the trouble because I am not alone; God is always with me.

I may have suffered the loss of my marriage due to an affair because of evil, greedy, lustful and selfish people but Isaiah 61:1 -7 lists all the promises I can claim because God “love(s) justice; (and he) hate(s) robbery and iniquity.” Janice robbed me of my husband. She took what wasn’t hers to take. Like a thief, she will always know she obtained what she has dishonestly at great cost to others and at a loss to her reputation, trust and integrity.  It is a lie and will be a constant reminder for herself and others of who she is at the core of her being. She shouldn’t be sad when the next thief steals it from her especially because she puts it on display; it never belonged to her in the first place. The same holds true for Dave. What a waste of time and effort and money trying to hold on to something that is just a lie and false security.

Regardless of my husband’s broken promises, God promises to me in this scripture that he will always be faithful and will reward me with his everlasting covenant that no one can steal from me.   Jesus is in me and will lead me where he wants me to go. I trust that! My husband left me, Jesus did not.

I know there will be battles in my future but I will get up and get in the ring and fight to knock Satan out so I can claim my victory! God works everything out for the good of those who love him (NIV Romans 8:28).

 

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adultery, affair, Betrayal, Bible, cheating, children, Christianity, divorce, ex spouse, faith, God, infidelity, Janice Andrews, other woman, sin

Is the Honeymoon Over?

I like the idea of Dave and Janice being together for the rest of their lives and having to live with the consequences of choosing their new path. I know they will be repaid accordingly in life for the hurt, damage and selfishness they chose instead of doing right but I don’t need to know how that destiny unfolds.

I would not want to be Janice and be held accountable to God for what he brought together and she chose to tear apart. Dave carries an even higher onus of responsibility. As a Christian, baptized as an adult, choosing to live for Christ, he knows the scripture promises. He should be shivering, as even Satan trembles at the mention of God, but instead lives in arrogance and debauchery denying God, his word, his children, his faith and his responsibilities.

So I have to say I was a little disappointed when my younger daughter happily proclaimed to my eldest daughter, when she came home for Canadian Thanksgiving in October, that she hadn’t seen Janice since my older daughter left for university in the summer. My oldest daughter said that Janice was coming to dinner with their dad and them over the weekend but she didn’t show up. The kids discussed that Janice and Dave went to Vegas for her 50th birthday in September and talked about how they went to a Cirque du Soleil show (unimaginative gift since he took me for my 40th and took me to a Cirque du Soleil show, too)but they were speculating whether or not the relationship had hit the end of the road.

When my youngest daughter told me that Janice was in the vehicle when we saw them coming off the ferry in November my youngest daughter told my oldest daughter. When he wasn’t bringing her to see my daughter dance I then wondered to myself if maybe the trip to Vancouver was last minute and a way to try and rekindle something or simply Dave using her for company so he didn’t have to be alone or maybe another girl bailed. My experience with him when we dated was that he would pick fights and use that as an excuse to go out with other women and probably did that in our marriage as well now that I have hindsight. I suspect this leopard shows off his same spots and that Janice will fail to acknowledge the truth of Mr. Duplicity at least until her guaranteed destruction can’t be ignored.

It was only yesterday that my youngest daughter came home and announced her lucky streak was over. Janice came with them to lunch (actually at a new burger place right around the corner from my yoga studio where my daughter pointed out my car to them in the parking lot as they drove by and it is a place that I frequent and almost went for lunch yesterday as well).

So I smile as the two of them deservingly are still together. I would never want them to miss out on everything that is still to come.

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adultery, affair, Betrayal, divorce, ex spouse, infidelity, Janice Andrews, narcissism, other woman, parenting, the other woman

Team Canada Showcase this Weekend

It is a huge honour that my youngest daughter was selected to dance for Team Canada.  We leave for Riesa, Germany next week where she will compete on the world stage.

Today we are back in Fort Langley, British Columbia for the Team Canada performers to put on a show for friends and family.  This is their first and only dress rehearsal performance before the competition.

Our daughter was allowed 6 tickets maximum.  She wasn’t going to ask her dad to come to see her dance.  He has had zero involvement in encouraging her and supporting her Team Canada dancing.  He refused to pay any portion of the expense–$3600 was just the starting point and he refused to take her to any of her rehearsals which involves a 1 1/2 hour ferry ride every Sunday ($88.20 one way for me and my daughter) and then a 45 minute drive to get to the studio. Then we do it all again coming back. He did end up giving her $250 this week for her trip and he bought a raffle ticket from her for a draw at the show.

I, however, cared more about my daughter having audience members who were there specifically to watch her.  I thought it would mean something to her if her dad was one of those people so I invited him to attend. He didn’t respond right away but he eventually said he would go.  I asked how many tickets he wanted and he said “just me”.

I invited him 3 weeks before the performance. When he replied he would come I asked him if he would be getting a hotel in Fort Langley because it would be too late after the show to make the last ferry.  He asked what time the show started and after I told him I didn’t hear from him for two weeks.  A week before the performance I asked him again about his hotel stay and got to my point about asking him directly if our daughter could stay over night with him in Fort Langley as she had her final rehearsal the next day from 12 to 2.  I asked him if he could take her to that rehearsal and then bring her home on the ferry afterwards. I told him how cute the downtown was and how it was filled with interesting history, amazing eateries and shops to help pass the 2 hours.  His response was that he had other plans and she couldn’t stay with him.

I don’t know why I was surprised or why I even felt annoyed by his response as it is completely on par with everything else he has done or hasn’t done for his children since our separation. I also tried not to speculate on what he was doing that he couldn’t have our daughter stay over night with him. I figured he was bringing Janice Andrews, the other woman, with him but then was wondering why he would leave her at the hotel and not bring her to support our daughter.  She went to her recital in June.  Also, our daughter has had to stay in a hotel with them before so could they really not sacrifice having sex one evening (they could have it before the show) in order to support her?  I wondered if he was planning on bringing a different woman with him instead.

Now I was going to have to drive back to Vancouver after the show only to return back to Fort Langley the next day.  It is close to an hour drive. At least I am staying for free with my older daughter. I couldn’t justify getting a hotel room myself in Fort Langley  as I can’t afford it and I have to drop my niece off at her place in Vancouver after the show. Even if I didn’t have my niece and just had my older daughter with us I would still have to drive into Vancouver the next day to bring my daughter home which would  then add another hour and 45 minutes on to our commute after the Sunday rehearsal.

Both the girls and I had hoped that Dave would have allowed our daughter to stay over night with him because I would have been able to spend Sunday with my older daughter as her 19th birthday will occur while we are in Germany.  We had talked about going shopping for some things she really needed and that she hoped I might get her for her gift.  We can’t do that today as we have to be in Fort Langley for 12:45 p.m. for my daughter’s lighting and technical blocking rehearsal before the show. Now instead I will have to take my younger daughter back to Fort Langley again on Sunday. My younger daughter made a disgusted type gesture blowing air out of her mouth and  rolling her eyes when I told her that she wasn’t able to stay with her dad after the show.

Friday, November 11 was the Canadian statutory holiday in British Columbia for Remembrance Day.  As both my daughters had no school, we decided to head over to Vancouver a day early.   My ex texted our daughter while we were waiting to board the ferry.  He asked which ferry we would be on.  She told him and he said he was going to be on the same ferry.  He told her that he was going to Vancouver to meet friends for dinner that night. How lovely for him.  He was going to be getting a hotel in Vancouver not just Friday night but going back there Saturday night, too, after the show.

We never saw him during the trip across.  While we were driving off the ferry my daughter noticed him in the lane beside us.  I wouldn’t have recognized him because he bought a new vehicle. She waved to him and announced to me that Janice Andrews was with him.

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