It has been a tougher few months than normal and sadness has crept in.

I was off work for 3 weeks with my hospitalization and recovery and then laid off due to Covid 19.  My youngest daughter’s 19-day trip to Tanzania was cancelled less than 48 hours before she was set to leave.  We moved and with Covid we could not have much outside help. All of my younger daughter’s dance classes, competitions, festivals, shows, and her grade 12 graduation cancelled. School moved to online. My youngest daughter sank into a depression and I couldn’t get her out of bed.  She slept on a bare mattress and did not unpack one single moving box. They were piled around her bed practically burying her inside her room.  My older daughter was suffering her own serious illness and my ex did nothing to help us. Instead he chose to blame and sow division.

One of our unexpected joys after moving was a little cat named Coco.  She would visit and sit at our back door all the time waiting for us to come out and see her. When we got out of our car she would come running to welcome us back home. She would follow us to our car whenever we were going somewhere and she would sit on top of our car when we were home.  My youngest daughter would sit with her on our front porch or our back patio and just pat her and talk to her.  Our cats would sit at the door and wait for her to make an appearance. My older daughter even found her in our garage one night. We were concerned about eagles nesting in the trees by our house and the busy street below our property so we did worry for her.  We wouldn’t let our own cats outside.

A couple of weeks ago I woke up suddenly to a terrible cry that sounded to me like an animal being killed.  My cat sleeping with me in bed jumped to the window as well.  I didn’t see anything and went outside to see if I could help.  I thought it might have been a cat catching a baby bunny.  A week and a half later my next door neighbour left a poster on our front step that 2 year old Coco was missing.  I burst into tears and so did my older daughter.

There was also the typical angst with my ex who would not provide details of my younger daughter’s RESP. I has having to put money out to accept her offer to attend university and to apply for residence.  He refused to provide any details of how much money was in her account. He would not forward payment for his share of any of the school expenses I was incurring and told me to take it out of child support. It appeared as though he had not only withdrawn all of her RESP money 5 years prior to the fund maturing but that as a result of him doing that we incurred penalties that involved losing the government grant money and all of the interest accumulated from day one. It also appeared by his responses to my inquiry that he had spent whatever was left. There was no money for my daughter to go to university.

The George Floyd killing was the final straw.  I could not stop crying.

In my grief, I contacted one of my favourite friends for help. He has been in the entertainment business since he was 18. He lived in Hollywood for years. He had his own business, wrote a screenplay, directed, produced and was cast in his own movie that was nominated for several awards.  His film won “best documentary” at 3 film festivals as well as the Orson Welles Award.  We reconnected 2 years ago and have had some very memorable dates including one that ended at the house of David Foster’s first wife. Prior to Covid our dates centred around trying to watch all the Oscar nominated movies. He knows me, knows my situation, knows what I like and he knows entertainment.  I needed a Netflix series to escape and his immediate recommendation for me was ‘Glow’–Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.

Season One, Episode 3: The Wrath of Kuntar (pronounced Cunter)

“Men walk in fear through these city streets for it is there you may meet me. And though I am only moderately attractive I am desperate. And there is nothing more dangerous than a desperate woman. And there is no woman more desperate than the Homewrecker.”