abuse of power, child support, Family Law, infidelity, legal proceedings, Male abuse of power and wealth, special expenss, spousal support, Supreme Court of British Columbia

Apparently I am a Bar Joke

2019 ended with my ex sending an email acknowledging he owed me $117,000 in retroactive support payments but advised that his lawyer told him not to pay me unless I sign an order dismissing all outstanding matters before the court.  He also reduced his support payments to me by more than $700/month to put pressure on me to do this.

We have a mediation agreement in place that spells out exactly how he is to pay support. For 3 years he chose not to disclose his income.  I had no choice but to go to court in order for him to do this.  That forced him to disclose 2 years of income information and to file his taxes for the 3rd year of income. He still failed, however, to disclose all sources of income as per the agreement so the judge gave him an additional 60 days to do that.  He did not.  Now we have to secure another court date.  It is clear from what has been disclosed that he at least owes $117,000 but he said he isn’t going to pay voluntarily.  He will wait for the judge to order that.

This is not a negotiable issue. We have an agreement in place since 2014 but as usual, even though he gloated about how much he “won” in that agreement, he still wants to play games and withhold support as a power and control move over me. His response:

“You’ve become a bar joke Robyn. People always have a horror story about divorce and the crazy ex’s and what they have to pay in support. No one can top me. I tell people to read the blog so they can see what type of person I’m dealing with. I tell people how much I pay in support and they are flabbergasted at what you do. That’s what you’ve become at age 53, a bar joke, and not much else.”

He’s got one thing right.  No one can top him.

He makes in excess of $225,000/year.  He won’t pay any portion of our daughter’s dance expenses even though he agreed this would be a special expense where we pay our share according to our income. He never paid a dime towards our pet expenses even though he agreed to pay 50%.  He hasn’t contributed a dime to support our daughter’s Global Perspectives trip to Tanzania where she has worked for 2 years in school to raise funds to build a library for a girls’ dorm.  He came to one meeting, signed the consent for her to go, made an appearance at one of the fundraisers (although apart from his $15/ticket he never gave any money to the cause or donated anything for the silent auction) and even though he knows exactly from the meeting the cost of the trip he still asked me twice to send over the information. (I actually have sent it at least 3 times and every time I followed up asking if he was forwarding his share of the payments to me he asked me to send the documentation again).  There are a lot of things she needs for this trip but all I asked him to contribute towards is the flight and hotel–$4800, $180 for the passport and $250 for vaccinations and malaria pills. He recognizes that the trip is considered an Extraordinary Expense under the Family Law Act for our daughter’s education and knows he is required to pay his share.  His response to me in December is that I can’t have my cake and eat it too. He wants me to sign the consent saying I won’t go after him for anything else he is responsible to pay, he will pay me the $117,000 and he will then consider paying me the trip (the expense was incurred after our court application was filed so it is not currently before the court, but we will now just add it).

If he wants to complain about what he has to pay in support, he should at least pay it. If he didn’t want to pay support, he never should have had an affair and left the marriage.  If he now spends his time sitting in bars telling his story to anyone who will listen then I suspect that 7 years after having an affair and destroying his family and everything we built together, that the grass is not so green on the other side.

 

 

 

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abuse of power, adultery, breach of contract, child support, court, divorce, Family Law, judgement, legal proceedings, marriage breakdown, single parent

Court Update

It is difficult to believe that it has been over a year since we applied to go to court and we still have no final resolution. This is the reality of dealing with a bitter ex who is not interested in resolving issues and dissolving the marriage. His behaviour from 7 years ago, when I first found out about his affair and we split immediately, has not changed. In all of his bluster, repeatedly admonishing at the end of each of his emails for me to move forward, he is the one who is stuck. He is either so damaged, broken and paralyzed that he cannot let go or he is just plain evil acting out against me and in spite of his children with vindictiveness, bullying, control, intimidation, anger and abuse of power. Whatever the reason, he is blind and cannot see.

When the final decision comes in, I will outline everything.  It is a stark warning for any couple who cannot work out their differences fairly and honestly with the best interest of the children, and the partner who stays with the children as the primary caregiver, in mind.

We appeared before the judge at the end of January 2019.  The judge released a partial decision in July.  It is common for a decision to take up to 6 months.  There are procedures in place if the decision has not been received by then but if you go to court don’t expect a quick outcome.

My ex was ordered to pay me $17,700 in back child support for our youngest child.  He was also ordered to pay Canadian Revenue Agency $8544.84 directly under my name for tax debt that he caused me by claiming he paid spousal support when he did not.

The mediated agreement that was put in place in November 2014 is the biggest regret of my life.  Part of that agreement allowed my ex to claim support he didn’t pay but he was required to pay any tax implication that claim created. He did not do it at the time it was incurred.  He needed to be ordered to pay this by a judge and as a result there is a large amount of interest outstanding. That is an issue that I may now have to deal with in another court with a tax lawyer. Calculating daily interest back to 2015 is another, separate issue.

At the end of our court hearing in January 2019, my ex was also ordered to continue to pay me $8000/month for child and spousal support.  This was the amount my ex voluntarily started to pay in December 2018 at the advice of his lawyer so he would not look as bad to the judge for not providing income information for the previous 3 years.  He knew that his income had increased substantially. He had been paying $2728/month.

We will likely not appear before the judge again until the new year.  I will go through the entire decision once it has been received in full.  I think it will be helpful to anyone considering court.  It should only be a last resort option for sure.  The entire $17,700 that my ex owed for support for our child went directly to my lawyer and it only paid for 50% of my outstanding legal fee.  Not to mention what I have paid in fees over the past 7 years and what my ex has paid.

It is clear that the financial burden of going to court is why many single parents left to care for their children are not able to hold their ex’s accountable for support payments. I think it is wrong for any spouse and parent to abandon their obligation to their family.  My conscience compels me to stand up for myself and my girls. It would be a disservice to me, my children and to society as a whole who ends up burdened in social services costs and the consequences of poverty and lack of hope, especially with our youth. That is a whole other blog topic.

 

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adultery, divorce, Family Law, Janice Andrews, legal proceedings, marriage breakdown, spousal support

It is all in the Judge’s hands

Court is finished for now.  There is a lot of material for the judge to review before making his ruling.  He did, however, make an order for my ex to start paying me $5300/month more than he had been paying me.  He commented that there is no chance of my ex over paying pending his decision as there are “significant arrears”.

My ex never showed his face in court.  His lawyer attended on his behalf and just read from my ex’s affidavit.

They did try some dirty tricks. My ex hired a private investigator to surveil me the week before our hearing.  He and his lawyer also travelled to Vancouver the day before our hearing getting my older daughter to swear an affidavit against me.  The judge did not allow these documents to be entered.  He commented that having a child, even an adult one, swear against another parent can cause significant, long term damage to the family.  He also found them to be irrelevant.

This was all done for the purpose of trying to sully my character to the judge. My ex also quoted my “scornedwifeblog” in his affidavit and his lawyer read the example title “How to Handle Hoes like Janice Andrews”. It is a very benign entry just relaying a Beyoncé story but it was chosen to try to embarrass me. Two ways that I think this backfired: 1) Now the judge knows that my ex is the cheater which is another strike against his moral character. 2) The blog, that my ex has tried so hard to get me to halt, is now documented in the Supreme Court of Canada, specifically highlighting Janice Andrew’s name. people bringing you down quote

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adultery, affair, child support, court, Family Law, legal proceedings, litigation, spousal support, Supreme Court of Canada

The Noose is Tightening

I showed up at court on November 22, 2018.  Our original date was November 20, 2018 but we changed the date at the request of my ex’s lawyer.  I was to meet my lawyer at 9:30 a.m. at the court house before heading to our 9:45 a.m. Supreme Court of Canada hearing.

She advised that my ex’s lawyer contacted her at 9:00 a.m. offering a sum in excess of $100,000 if I agreed to adjourn the hearing. That was still a low ball offer, was not in writing so my ex could not be trusted to keep his word and it was clearly because my ex was not prepared and wanted to buy more time until some point in the new year. He had missed the deadline for filing his response and it had still not been filed as of the day of hearing so there was a good chance my court application would be considered uncontested by him.  I had no desire to put off resolving our issues any more and I refused to accept this offer.

The hearing ended up being adjourned anyways.  Two supposedly quick 10-minute hearings were heard before our scheduled 2 hour hearing. One lady was self-represented so this hearing dragged a lot longer than anticipated. My lawyer and my ex’s lawyer were discussing numbers (of course my ex didn’t have the courage to show his face in court to a judge) until it was our turn.  Then the judge announced she was taking her scheduled break in 15 minutes (11:15) and then her lunch as scheduled and would commence with the afternoon hearings as scheduled at 1:00 p.m.  Therefore, she doubted she had time to hear my case.  She listened for 15 minutes and felt there might be a jurisdiction issue and my ex’s lawyer would have to agree she had jurisdiction to rule.  Of course he wouldn’t do this as he didn’t want the hearing to proceed so we had no choice but to reschedule.

I overheard my ex’s lawyer calling my ex to confirm his availability for a December 7 court date.  His lawyer said to him, “Ya, you can loosen the noose for now but don’t put it away in your closet.  It is going to get tight again real soon.”

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adultery, affair, breach of contract, Family Law, infidelity, legal proceedings, mediation, unfaithfulness

The Thanksgiving Turkey has been Served!

The Friday of our Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend, we served my ex with our court application outlining all the areas that he continues to owe me money.  They are all items that he agreed to pay in our Mediation Agreement back in November 2014. He also promised, as per the Mediation Agreement, to provide his tax information on May 1 of every year but he has not done that for the past 2 years.  Any other items are in accordance with the Family Law Act.

We just heard back from his lawyer.  They have asked that we change the date, which we agreed, and they will be providing us with their response shortly. November 22 will hopefully bring a long over-due resolution to our ongoing legal issues.

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abuse of power, adultery, affair, Betrayal, bullying, cheating, child support, court, ex spouse, Family Law, infidelity, insurance adjuster, lawyer, legal proceedings

He probably tries to rip everyone off

After all, he is an insurance adjuster and the stereotypical reputation is that they can’t be trusted.  Their interest is the insurer’s interest, not that of the insured person making a claim.

This is a copy of the email that I sent to my ex on June 13, 2016:

I am just confirming our conversation today that you are refusing to pay any portion of (daughter’s name) dance enrollment for next year.

Firstly, she was asked to audition for Team Canada yesterday which she did.  The audition fee was $35.  If she makes this team it will really help her with respect to university applications as she could get some scholarship money.

Secondly, as you aware from the (daughter’s dance studio) emails, registration for (daughter’s name) for next dance season is tomorrow.  I have told you that she is not adding any dances to her schedule.  Please let me remind you that she dropped classes each year following our separation to make payment for her classes easier for us.  She also was not able to participate in the Summer Dance Intensive program following our separation which she did every year prior to us separating.  She wanted to join baseball and take gymnastics camp to help with the acro portion of her dance, all of which she sacrificed participating in due to our financial situation. Now you have indicated that you will not pay any portion of the following:

  • Registration fee due tomorrow:  $25
  • Costume deposit for her regular 7 classes post-dated for October 1: $420
  • Monthly fee for 9 hours of dance classes: $366
  • Company (I paid her audition fee and she was accepted on this team again)
  • Company annual fee—$375 (can be split over 10 months and added to monthly withdrawal or paid all at once due September 1)
  • 2 Company costume deposits due October 1: $120

Your 71% share based on your 2014 income is as follows: 

  • $17.75 due tomorrow for registration fee
  • 9 Costume deposits post-dated cheque for October 1: $383.40
  • Company annual fee due September 1: $266.25
  • Monthly regular classes: $259.86

David, dance is (daughter’s) passion.  This is her social base and emotional outlet. It is also what she wants to do for her career. “

I am guessing that with my lawyer getting ready for us to go to court again she has had a conversation with my ex’s lawyer because now my ex has provided our older daughter with payment of her tuition for her first term of university in the amount of $3700 (I think this was the figure my daughter told me). It sounds generous but remember we did have this saved for our daughter’s education.  My ex somehow withdrew her entire RESP of $19,000–figure he gave me in May 2015, and used it to pay for entire last year expenses instead of using his own money and my support money.  If she had have been living with me, he would have paid support to me for her and from this money I would have had to pay her food, clothing, accommodation and other items. Why does he think then he is entitled to waste her entire RESP on one year and then tell her too bad you are an adult now and have to pay your own tuition?

Secondly he sent me a lump sum payment today for our youngest daughter’s dance expenses but only paid based on her monthly regular class fee of $366. He gave me one payment of $2598.60.  I thanked him for his but pointed out it is short $667.40.  He insists I only asked him to pay his share of the monthly regular classes.  He has confirmed the correct amount with the studio but insists I made the error, didn’t ask for the correct amount, my mistake, I lose, should have been more careful, why has the amount suddenly changed now, why am I asking for increased payment, etc. I see that the studio responded to him also explaining all of the correct information and informed him, as I did, that the Company fee is calculated differently and there is a registration fee.

Sigh.  It took lawyer involvement to get him to pay anything. The fact that he has $6298.60 that he can pay and the fact that my account is in a negative situation from  having to pay his share of expenses for the past year plus won’t make him look very good in court. His argument to me is that if I could go to Florida at Christmas (accommodation and flight for me and our girls was paid for in full by a family friend but he doesn’t know this) and Hawaii then I can handle paying his share.

I hope that his lawyer will advise him to pay the rest of his share of expenses including full child support.  I know his lawyer has been frustrated in the past by his obstinance. I know there is some reason for me to be happy and it does alleviate a bit of financial stress for some payment but in the end he will feel it is okay to continue to short change me and his children. He has been doing that for the past 3 1/2 years.  In his mind he thinks–she might take me to court for $6966 but if I pay that amount less $677.40 will she really take me to court for $677.40 as it will cost her more to get that amount back if she even wins.

He should have learned from January’s court experience. If he was there and heard the judge lambaste him maybe he would have learned that this judge in particular was going to make an example of this derelict father. I feel like I have no choice but to continue with court or I am doing my girls and me a disservice.  The only way that I am going to be able to move forward and receive full reimbursement for items he legally is responsible to pay is to have clearly written court orders for those amounts that can be enforced.

 

 

 

 

 

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abuse of power, adultery, affair, Betrayal, bullying, court, divorce, infidelity, legal proceedings, litigation, Uncategorized

The Court Sends A Strong Message

Dave chose not to attend court today.  His lawyer was present.

On November 23, 2015 my lawyer contacted Dave’s lawyer to advise that I gave her instructions to pursue Dave in court for the outstanding expenses he continued to refuse to pay as per our mediation agreement.   These included pet expenses, dance expenses, alterations to my daughter’s grad dress, and orthodontic expenses. His share totalled $1212.11.

We were also asking Dave to increase my spousal and child support from July 1, 2015 to January, 31, 2016 as per our agreement based on our 2014 income information.

We were asking Dave to pay our older daughter’s school account that he still hasn’t paid for the September 2014 – June 2015 school year and where my name is still included as being responsible for this account.  This amount is over $1200. Our daughter was living with him at the time these expenses were incurred.

We were asking for Dave to provide me with interest on the RRSP amount he was to roll over to me on November 6, 2014 that I have yet to receive.

We asked him to provide details of the life insurance that he was to get in November 2014.

We asked for information from his bank outlining all bank accounts he had at the time of our separation because there were unexplained transactions leading us to believe he carried an undisclosed bank account.

We asked for details of RESP accounts for both our daughters that he had control of and failed to disclose at mediation and has failed to provide details about.

My lawyer filed our documents on December 4.  Dave has to meet the court rules and provide a response within 5 days.  When my lawyer hadn’t received anything by December 9 she contacted his lawyer.  He had a lot of excuses for the delay and urged my solicitor to push our December 17 court date to January 20, 2016.  She did.  She asked that Dave’s response be at her office by January 11 so she had time to review it.  When it wasn’t received by this time she contacted Dave’s lawyer again.  She told him that she was in court on Thursday and Friday and then after court on Friday she had to fly to Vancouver for a family death.  She needed the documents by Wednesday in order to have time to review them.  Dave’s lawyer served her on Friday at 3:50 p.m. when he knew she wasn’t available to receive them.  She did not receive Dave’s affidavit until Monday morning, 2 days before our scheduled court date.

I did manage to drop everything to respond to Dave’s 21 points in case Dave’s affidavit was admitted into court despite him failing to meet the filing deadline.  My lawyer filed our response to Dave’s affidavit the night before our court appearance.  The judge therefore had none of this information.

The judge ruled Dave’s affidavit was inadmissible.  Dave’s lawyer had to try to explain why Dave ignored court rules but instead tried to just make excuses why the judge should hear his evidence.  The judge again asked why he should admit Dave’s affidavit when Dave was “thumbing his nose at the rules”, “inconveniencing the courts”, “not abiding by the rules that are in place to avoid hearings by ambush”.   Dave’s lawyer finally conceded there was no excuse.

Dave’s lawyer’s big mistake was still trying to get his client’s affidavit admitted by using the words “in the name of Justice.” The judge said,  (and I might be paraphrasing a little but I wrote down as many of his comments as I could):  In the name of justice we should be able to move forward today because your client responded to the action brought against him in accordance to the rules.  Instead, he has played every game he can play.  He has not done his job. He makes north of $100,000 more than the claimant.  He controls everything. He has applied the pressure to the claimant, hammered her against the wall and twiddled his thumbs for a year plus.  He has forced her to make an application to the court. Why doesn’t he give his paycheck over to the claimant and let her decide how much he should have?  I bet the claimant would love to have his difficulties. What in the world do we have to control people like him if we don’t have court rules.  He just waits in the weeds.  We need to send a message to people like him that we are not kidding.

The judge then ruled that he found it fit to not receive his evidence because Dave’s actions are to be frowned upon. Otherwise, it is just a license for people to show up last minute and cry “in the interest of justice.” The lower income party has been on the short end of the stick.  The higher income party was well equipped to be able to do what mattered and he chose not to. He used the court as a way to apply pressure to squeeze the side with the least means. There will be financial consequences to Mr. Cherrie for essentially his “bare faced ignoring of court rules.”

As such, I won all the orders we were seeking.  Dave was ordered to pay me spousal support and child support arrears in the amount that was agreed upon prior to the court hearing.  In fact 7/10 of the items we were seeking were agreed upon by Dave’s lawyer prior to us being heard which made the judge indicate that if Dave had have filed on time court may have been avoided all together.  Dave was ordered to pay me TODAY support arrears in the amount of $5663, to start paying me an increase in spousal and child support as of February 1, 2015 plus an additional $1300 in punitive damages to pay my court fees and legal fees.  The judge also said that if we have to come back to court on any of these issues that Dave will be ordered to pay my costs again.

In essence, Dave just spent $2600 (both of our court costs) to fight me on $1200 worth of expenses. While he was scrambling to get his documents in just before our proceedings he agreed to pay the support arrears (although he tried to haggle off $28/month from the calculation) and tried to send over some documentation that we requested in our order but still didn’t satisfy what we required.  What a waste of time, energy and money. We ran out of time so the expense issue had to be adjourned. Therefore, Dave will still have to go back to court with me to fight those expenses and we are still asking for costs because they are agreed upon expenses.  We will be back in court unless Dave pays me in full. I have no more patience for this man and the court agrees.

 

 

 

 

 

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