adultery, affair, Betrayal, Bible, cheating, children, Christianity, divorce, ex spouse, faith, God, infidelity, Janice Andrews, other woman, sin

Is the Honeymoon Over?

I like the idea of Dave and Janice being together for the rest of their lives and having to live with the consequences of choosing their new path. I know they will be repaid accordingly in life for the hurt, damage and selfishness they chose instead of doing right but I don’t need to know how that destiny unfolds.

I would not want to be Janice and be held accountable to God for what he brought together and she chose to tear apart. Dave carries an even higher onus of responsibility. As a Christian, baptized as an adult, choosing to live for Christ, he knows the scripture promises. He should be shivering, as even Satan trembles at the mention of God, but instead lives in arrogance and debauchery denying God, his word, his children, his faith and his responsibilities.

So I have to say I was a little disappointed when my younger daughter happily proclaimed to my eldest daughter, when she came home for Canadian Thanksgiving in October, that she hadn’t seen Janice since my older daughter left for university in the summer. My oldest daughter said that Janice was coming to dinner with their dad and them over the weekend but she didn’t show up. The kids discussed that Janice and Dave went to Vegas for her 50th birthday in September and talked about how they went to a Cirque du Soleil show (unimaginative gift since he took me for my 40th and took me to a Cirque du Soleil show, too)but they were speculating whether or not the relationship had hit the end of the road.

When my youngest daughter told me that Janice was in the vehicle when we saw them coming off the ferry in November my youngest daughter told my oldest daughter. When he wasn’t bringing her to see my daughter dance I then wondered to myself if maybe the trip to Vancouver was last minute and a way to try and rekindle something or simply Dave using her for company so he didn’t have to be alone or maybe another girl bailed. My experience with him when we dated was that he would pick fights and use that as an excuse to go out with other women and probably did that in our marriage as well now that I have hindsight. I suspect this leopard shows off his same spots and that Janice will fail to acknowledge the truth of Mr. Duplicity at least until her guaranteed destruction can’t be ignored.

It was only yesterday that my youngest daughter came home and announced her lucky streak was over. Janice came with them to lunch (actually at a new burger place right around the corner from my yoga studio where my daughter pointed out my car to them in the parking lot as they drove by and it is a place that I frequent and almost went for lunch yesterday as well).

So I smile as the two of them deservingly are still together. I would never want them to miss out on everything that is still to come.

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abuse of power, adultery, affair, Betrayal, cheating, Christianity, deceit, divorce, Frank Elsner, God, infidelity, lying, Police, shame, sin, Spirituality, unfaithfulness

Victoria Police Chief Steps Aside

The police union demanded the resignation of Victoria Police Chief, Frank Elsner, two weeks ago as a result of his admission that he was exchanging inappropriate Twitter messages with the wife of a subordinate police officer.

Now, as reported by CHEK news tonight, Frank Elsner has voluntarily stepped aside, with pay, now that the Office of Police Complaints Commissioner has ordered two different public trust investigations into the police chief.

He is being investigated by RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) and two retired judges. Not only is there an issue with his exchange of flirtatious social media messages but he also allegedly misled investigators, lied to the officer in question about the messages he sent to his wife so that the officer would not file a complaint against him, talked to witnesses after being told not to talk to witnesses, and four employees have made workplace harassment complaints against him since 2014.

The investigation is expected to take six months.

Based on my conversation with people who work for Victoria Police, all of their emails and the Police Department social media accounts are internally monitored.  How could the police chief be so stupid to not only do what every cheater does and risk his marriage, reputation, relationship with his children and family,  ruin his finances, ruin his dreams but also do something that could destroy his career? Did he just think he wouldn’t be caught? Is it spiritual blindness because of his sinful thinking?  Maybe when Romans 6:23 talks about the wages of sin being death it is talking about everything good in your life is now dead and gone.

I think of people like Bill Cosby who spent a lifetime building an image that is respected and admired only to have it crumble apart and turn to ash because of his apparent repeated abuse of women for his own sexual pleasure and whatever other gain he received from that behaviour. Now that will be his legacy. I think of scripture like “your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23) and “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world just to forfeit his own soul?”(Matthew 16:26) It makes me feel like I felt with my own husband that he was a fraud, liar and that everything he pretended that he stood for was false.

I suspect that there will be a new Victoria Police Chief in 2016.

 

 

 

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affairs, divorce, God, mediation, sin, Spiritual, worldly

What colour is this dress?

Have you seen the dress everyone is talking about? It is black and blue yet a photo of it taken in a different light shows it to many people to be gold and white. What is really interesting is that you can get a group of people around the same photo and some see it as gold and white while others see it as black and blue.

The Explanation: “Light enters the eye through the lens—different wavelengths corresponding to different colors. The light hits the retina in the back of the eye where pigments fire up neural connections to the visual cortex, the part of the brain that processes those signals into an image. Critically, though, that first burst of light is made of whatever wavelengths are illuminating the world, reflecting off whatever you’re looking at. Without you having to worry about it, your brain figures out what color light is bouncing off the thing your eyes are looking at, and essentially subtracts that color from the “real” color of the object. “Our visual system is supposed to throw away information about the illuminant and extract information about the actual reflectance,” says Jay Neitz, a neuroscientist at the University of Washington. “But I’ve studied individual differences in color vision for 30 years, and this is one of the biggest individual differences I’ve ever seen.” (Neitz sees white-and-gold.)

Could it be the same way with our view points?

For 23 years, my ex and I seem to have seen the same view of the world reflected back to us. We have seen it through spiritual eyes and we have seen it through worldly eyes. Together, I felt, we tried to do good and contribute to the universe in a positive light. We tried to represent and stand for right. We gave sacrificially of our time and our money. We partnered together to do what was best for meeting the needs of our children, our families, our friends, our community and even strangers. It wasn’t always what we wanted to do but we put our own selfish desires aside so much of the time acting on faith and trusting in God that as long as we did what was right we believed that we too, would win in the long run, and the world would be better for it.

When did my ex start seeing the world through his own selfish eyes instead of God’s eyes? When did his visual system that was supposed to throw away false information fed to him by Satan stop extracting information about the actual reflectance of God? When did he stop being able to distinguish gold and white from black and blue?

Why does it surprise me then when his vision is so cloudy that for more than 2 years he makes decisions to only take care of his own wants and desires. Why does it surprise me that he doesn’t pay child support, spousal support or pay any percentage of his children’s activities and medical/dental expenses? Why does it surprise me that even when in mediation he agreed to pay a specific percentage of the pet expenses, he doesn’t? Why does it surprise me that he allowed his life insurance to lapse even though he agreed in mediation not to let that happen. He chooses instead to leave me and his children with a huge exposure so that if he were to die today my kids have no financial support for their future, no education money, and I am left with the burden of all of his debt? Why does it surprise me that even though in mediation he agreed to close out our joint bank account immediately he never has and I am the only one who has put money in that account to cover our joint expenses? On top of that, why does he think it is okay to access that account using my money to pay for his own personal bills? Now that I am not putting any money in there why does he think it is okay to not put back what he stole from me, pay off the overdraft so we can close the account and not incur any more wasted service charges? Why should I be surprised that he will not allow any of the funds from a property we sold together to be disbursed equally between us so I can pay my bills, the ones he isn’t contributing to and should be? And especially why am I surprised, when an oversight was made in mediation leaving me responsible for all of our pre-separation debt, why does he not acknowledge that isn’t fair and agree to pay his 50%? This would resolve our current dispute, allow us to move forward, stop the waste of legal expenses, allow for a more equitable settlement and it would be the right thing to do.

I do not recognize the person my ex has become at all. I only see black when I look him. There is definitely no gold. I concur with Neitz. This is one of the biggest individual differences I, too, have ever seen!

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