My friend, Amy, shared this with me:
“I want to introduce you to one of the most badass goddesses out there. She’s lesser known, but quite honestly I believe it’s because she is the most feared, for she actually rides fear itself, firmly on the back of a fierce crocodile. Her name?
Akhilandesvari: The Never Not Broken Goddess
You know those moments when we have felt/feel like we are falling apart? When what we have known seems to be coming apart at the seams, we have little to no comfort, and we are nothing but a crumpled mess on the floor?
Yes, we all do.
And Akhilandesvari teaches us that in these moments, we are more powerful than we’ve ever been.
Akhilandesvari lives for the breaking apart. She derives her power from being broken, in flux, pulling herself apart, living in different constant selves at the same time, from never becoming a whole that has limitations.
This broken is not one of weakness or terror. This broken is the kind that tears apart all the stuff that gets us stuck in toxic routines, repeating the same relationships or habits over and over, rather than diving into the scary process of trying something new and unfathomable.
When we break apart, Akhilandesvari cheers, because she says now we get to make a choice. Your expectations of the future are meaningless. Your stories about the past do not apply. You are in flux, you are changing, you are flowing in a new way and this is an incredibly powerful opportunity to CHOOSE how you want to put yourself back together as YOU would like to.
Oh yes, and she does all that before she heads to the river and selects her ride: the crocodile.
Crocodiles represent our reptilian brain, where we feel fear. And their predatory power is that they pluck their prey from the banks of the river and spin it until it is beyond disoriented.
By riding on this spinning, predatory, fearsome creature, Akhilandesvari refuses to reject her fear, nor does she let it control her. She rides on it. She gets on this animal that lives inside the river, inside the flow, and uses its power to navigate the waters and waves.”
So if things seem scary right now because life is going in the complete opposite direction to what seemed expected, and you find yourself having to do things you never thought you would have to do, that is perfect for someone like Akhilandesvari.
Amy told me to harness that and ride it. And if it doesn’t work, perfect, break apart and put yourself back together again as many times as you like.