affair, divorce, finances, kids, moving forward, pets, separatiion

Closer to Gone

I received a text today from our realtor indicating that the people who put the conditional offer on our house have officially sold their home.  The next step to removing the conditions is a home inspection on Tuesday.  I am optimistic the sale is going to go through and that the home that we chose over a 5 day trip in 2008 to relocate our family from Ontario to BC will be gone from my life.

I had lunch with both my girls today.  I had just spent the morning with my younger daughter at the last day of her dance in the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival.  We picked my older daughter up from school and went to our usual Cora’s for the all day breakfast. My girls were discussing the pending summer vacation their dad was taking them on going back home to Ontario to stay with his parents.  They were both not thrilled with the fact that Janice may be joining them on the trip.

I on the other hand feel fine about it.  It is a reminder to me that I will not have to waste any more of my vacation time in a cramped cottage with my ex’s family.  I smile now thinking of her travelling 5 hours by plane, then 1 1/2 hours by car, sleeping on a bed that fills the entire room, showering in the tiny, green bathtub or having to go downstairs and wait for the shower that everyone else lines up to use and then having the pleasure of the company of my ex’s family for at least 1 week.  Let her swelter in the 30 degree cabin that gets no breeze and let her enjoy the same boring stories that will be new for her but that I will never have to endure again.  My girls joked that Janice can look through all the scrapbooks that I made of our time there. There is not one ounce of me that wishes I was going instead.

I am now free to vacation anywhere else with anyone else.  There was a time with my ex that I wondered if I was going to live out my say 80 years not by living 80 years but by living the same year 80 times.  When we moved here I made sure I planned amazing, adventurous, fun vacations that were completely new and that involved experiences the entire family would enjoy.  My ex never appreciated that.  He never was interested in planning vacations or going anywhere.  He hadn’t travelled at all until he met me. The monotonous routine, using vacation time to do the same thing with the same people is happily gone for me.

I have had so many people contact me saying how excited they are that I am selling the house and now that it is that much closer to gone people cannot contain how happy they are for me. Not one person expressed anything resembling sadness or regret. Not even my kids. My younger daughter thinks that one of our cats will be sad but that is it. I have offers of generous living arrangements until my divorce settlement is finalized and I am able to find something more permanent. I actually don’t like the idea of “permanent”.  I am getting lots of offers of people wanting to spend time with me when my kids are back in Ontario and them asking me what do I want to do and where do I want to go. My options are expanding.

This is exactly what I have wanted. My life and opportunities are so open and my ex is that much closer to gone.


Hello 2014! The year dedicated to me!

I have been so sick for the month of January that I am making today, January 31, my New Year’s Eve. 

I’ve gone away with 4 girlfriends on a retreat for the weekend in Honeymoon Bay.  We are eating great food prepared for us by an amazing chef, staying in beautiful bedrooms in a secluded resort, enjoying wine, scrapbooking, watching DVD’s, working out, hot tubbing, reading, and nature as we are surrounded by trees, mountains and a lake.

As such, I have opened up the Astro 2014 that I tore out of the paper on December 30, and I am reading the Cancer horoscope for this year.  It reads:  “The year 2014 means greater freedom and change for all Cancers.  You are so dramatically redefining your individuality, others notice it.  It’s public.  Even if your drive for more independence is hindered by a partnership, you ain’t gonna stop….This is a fortunate year for you.”  The Astro states that my 2014 mantra is: “I appreciate my good fortune and will take advantage of it!”

I only recently found out that it is the Chinese year of the horse.  That is my Chinese zodiac symbol. 

My lawyer just contacted me with the Judicial Case Conference date for April 17 so things are moving forward with my separation/divorce. I am feeling more disinterested with my husband’s life and his girlfriend.  I am content being single.  I entered a contest through Ocean 98.5 radio station on why I should be chosen to be a V.I.P. Goddess. I shared the story of my husband’s affair and how he did not consider me to be a goddess.  There were 280 entries; 4 grand prize winners; and I was one of those winners.  I won an entry in the 2014 Goddess run, VIP parking, VIP bathroom usage, running shoes, running gear and a 12-week training program with Jasper Blake, 2006 Canadian Ironman champion. 

 While my girlfriends are scrapbooking photos of their family, I am making a new scrapbook for 2014 with the title page “Dedicating This Year To Me!” Today before driving up to the retreat I saw a community bulletin board with a gorgeous illustration of a horse by Janine Johnston.  I took that poster and have added it to my subtitle page, “Year of the Horse”.  I am feeling excited about the prospects for this year and know that despite all the obstacles and challenges that will undoubtedly be a big part of 2014, the universe is screaming “You are worthy” and is giving me opportunities to allow me to grow and shine.