adultery, Betrayal, cheating, infidelity, narcissism, other woman



Emmagc75 had this troll on her blog site and I had to repost it because it is so my ex!!!!!!!

I think “Happy” gave up trying to post under too many different aliases because deceitfulness gets messy and complicated.  He already has enough personas in real life and probably has just lost track of who is supposed to be today.

“Sally” is just way too offended by everything.  Maybe he and Janice write together but he/she is so quick to respond, so eager to attack, and so very angry.  The agenda of all the personas is the same: blame everyone else, throw in some righteousness about caring only for the children, and maybe everyone will be distracted and the focus will be diverted away from them. We might be confused as to what really has happened to make the author start and continue to blog.

Sally is way too invested in anything I write.   I don’t think Janice would risk her job.  She already got her wrist slapped (suspended from work for 3 days) for using her work computer and work phone (which got taken away from her).  Tax payers wouldn’t like to think their tax dollars are paying her salary to comment on my blog all day.   She could lose her job over this and then she will have to be back in the office full-time with my ex.  I don’t think he would like that.

If she is reading these blog posts she knows that he defends the emails and Facebook messages he writes to other women flirting and propositioning them saying that everyone writes emails they wouldn’t want someone else to see.  Maybe that is what keeps their relationship alive and exciting.  He did describe his work place as a Mad Men episode, “everyone sleeps with everyone.” He might not want her to know who else he pursues in their office or what they do when she isn’t around.  He does live around the corner from his work.  He takes his work home with him.

Mostly he is way too narcissistic to not be involved in my blog.  He calls this my “15-minutes of fame.”  Never in a million years do I think of it like that.  He of course would and needs to get in on it.

The problem with pretending to be someone you are not is that the person you might be trying to protect and defend as innocent only comes off looking all the more guiltier and cowardly.

adultery, affairs, Betrayal, cheating, divorce, the other woman

“Out Damned Spot”

It is very fascinating to me that Dave is trying so hard to turn me into a guilty person.

He is specifically trying to shift blame off himself and accuse me of a variety of offences: I don’t shower, I don’t get out of bed, I don’t enjoy a beautiful day, I do yoga, I do expensive yoga, I go to Starbucks, I am a bad mother, I don’t work, I don’t unpack boxes, I expect him to pay my ferry fare, I am defrauding the government, I steel photos, I bully, and the list goes on and on including the bizarre claim that I have kitty litter all over my house.

What is especially interesting to me is that Dave is fabricating my involvement in an adulterous affair.  He’s even trying to name names, describe vehicles and pull in other people and details to pad his lie. Then he takes it further and calls me a slut.

I came to the realization that he must be feeling so guilty of committing adultery on me that he is trying to get me to share in his guilt. He is trying to shed his own experience and deal it to me instead.

Guilt is described in Macbeth as “Life’s fitful fever”. When you look at the comments made by Dave and his underlings they are certainly exhibiting feverish fits. 2 1/2 years post my discovery of the affair, the fits rage on.  They are consuming Dave’s life to the point that he can’t suppress them anymore.  These are not new rants to me (except for the kitty litter).  These are obviously not new rants to his henchman because they repeat the exact same accusations he has been trying to heap on me from the beginning. That ‘s why all of the 12 (yep, a new one appeared since I last counted) identities commenting on my blog lately seem like Dave himself.  But now he has a new audience of blog followers to try to relieve himself on.

Like Lady Macbeth tried to assure Macbeth “what’s done is done”, Dave has tried repeatedly to convince me of the same thing. I am to “get over it” and “stop living in the past.” “Move on” is his modus operandi. The problem for Dave is that he can’t convince himself. The truth is that adultery is permanent and the guilt it casts on the perpetrator sticks to the conscience despite actions to try and feign otherwise.  Like the wife Dave left, he can’t ignore his guilt either.

Macbeth got no peace from satisfying his ambition to take King Duncan’s throne. Dave is getting no peace either. He may have conquered Janice and tried to make her into a legitimate relationship but his life experience is miserable. He gives glimpses of his life by indicating he “isn’t living in the lap of luxury” and with his anger and nasty attacks on anyone who would dare support my side of events and his paranoia over my cause of anything that goes wrong in his and Janice’s life, his guilt is all-consuming.  Probably because he feels he and Janice deserve to have bad things happen to them and deserve to have people stand against them.

Wikipedia describes guilt as “an emotion that occurs when a person believes that they have violated a moral standard that they themselves believe in.” I remember Dave’s indignation when we found out, shortly after attending our friend’s wedding, that her new husband was having an affair. The affair started before the wedding.  Deceit has always been a huge moral faux pas for Dave. I now think it is because he lives with deceit in his character.  He has difficulty with trust because he himself is untrustworthy and as happened with one of his business partners, if he catches you in a lie, watch out!

Well Dave, keep screaming and washing your hands. The blood, so to speak, isn’t coming out. Like the scarlet letter ‘A’ (was that what was spray-painted on Janice’s car?), your mark is permanent.  It is going to follow you around for life.  Spoiler alert: It doesn’t end well for Macbeth.