adultery, affair, cheating, children, divorce, Ex, family, Residence, University

Taking my daughter to university

As many times as my oldest daughter asked my ex to take me with them so she could be with both of her parents to travel to university, he refused.  She contacted me the day before she had to move into residence and told me she asked one last time but her dad said, “No!”   I assured her not to worry that I would still be there.  She told me that my ex booked a reservation on the 8:00 a.m. ferry so I told her that I would be on the same one.

I arrived at the ferries at 7:15 a.m. lining up with the other vehicles waiting to board. I went into the terminal to get something to eat for breakfast. When I came out and was walking back to my car, my younger daughter called my name. She was in the front passenger seat of a vehicle I didn’t recognize.  It was a white pick-up truck.  Both girls told me later that their dad had purchased a new vehicle.

I walked over and said “hi” to my girls.  My younger daughter was so happy she spotted me. She beamed that she could see my hair in the window so she knew I was there. I confirmed with my older daughter the name of her residence house. There are 8 houses and they have some difficult First Nation names and spellings. I told them I would meet them at the university. Then I went back to my vehicle and waited to load.

On the ferry, I sat in a row of seats by a window.  With it being the start of a long weekend it was very busy but I actually had a row of seats to myself.  I was reading for about 30 minutes when my kids found me and sat down beside me. They had gone for breakfast first. Their dad sat down with them. We each conversed with our children but didn’t say a word to each other. It made no difference to me at all that he was there.

We returned to our cars after the 1 hour and 35 minute ferry ride and then I drove by myself for the next hour to travel to the university. I ran into them as I was walking to my daughter’s residence and they were returning to my ex’s truck.  They had unloaded everything and now needed to move his vehicle to the parkade where my car was already parked. My daughter asked her dad if he would just let me walk back with them and drive with them so we could all stay together. He said that there was no room.  My daughter tried to explain to me where to go and I told her not to worry about it, that I would find it, and just meet them back at her room.

I met some great people on the way to her dorm. I chatted with parents and students about where they were from, why they chose this university, which residence would be their new home, etc.  It was a gorgeous, sunny day and there were tons of students dressed in bright blue shirts that were guides and question answerers to make everyone’s transition smooth. I bought my daughter a plant and then headed to her house with the personal guidance of one of the blue shirt students.

My daughter’s roommate hadn’t arrived yet.  We all helped our freshman unpack and set up her room. When we were done her dad left to go back home.  My younger daughter and I stayed and we all went for lunch in the residence dining hall. There was a great selection of food. Then we went back to her room and met her new roommate and mom from Winnipeg. They were so nice. They had never been to Victoria before so I invited her to come back with my daughter for Thanksgiving. They invited us to their cabin in Minnesota.

My younger daughter and I said our goodbyes and left to do some back-to-school shopping in Vancouver. Then we went to my sister’s house for dinner. Two of my nieces and their live-in boyfriends joined us. It was a whirlwind visit as the last ferry departed at 9:00 p.m. and we had at least a 40-minute drive to get there. It was so wonderful to see them. It had been almost 2 years since our last visit. We would have stayed over if I didn’t have pets to get back to and my other niece and brother-in-law were planning on visiting us the next day to go to the fair. We made it to the ferry with enough time to run into the terminal to buy an ice cream cone before being called to our vehicles to get ready to load.

My university daughter texted me just before we boarded the ferry. She thanked me for coming even though her dad tried to make it difficult for me to be there and for the “survival kit” that I left her. She had a very fun ‘Welcome BBQ’ for her house and said that she had met a ton of friends already from all over the world. She was off to play board games.

I am so excited for this new chapter in her life.  I feel like we managed, for the most part, to make the day all about her.

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29 thoughts on “Taking my daughter to university

  1. You know, I’m so glad you didn’t let him ruin this for you. Now you have this great memory and your daughter knows you will be there regardless the situation. I’m proud of you for walking into the fire and coming out safe.

  2. Sally says:

    Well that would be a first, Togetherabandonned putting family before herself?? Maybe the tides have changed and she’s finally seeing the light. Maybe we’ll see a change in tone to this blog and it’s constant negativity?

    There’s hope for you too Laura (I can’t do it), maybe after 5yrs of blogging about your ex you might be able to finally move on with your life and be a positive reinforcement to others.

    And Nephila…..oh forget it she’s hopeless.

    Have a wonderful day my blogging friends.

  3. My baby girls are still in elementary school! I don’t think I will be able to handle sending them off to college. I’d be a blubbering mess! My baby will be going into kindergarden next year and I hope I will be ok. These are important milestones in our children’s lives as well as ours and I’m glad that it went off without a hitch for you guys!

    • Thank you. I remember very clearly both my girls going off to kindergarten. It is unbelievable how quickly time flies. I am enjoying all my time with my youngest because I know these next 5 years will disappear in a blink. I am enjoying every minute with her and find true joy in her company. Living in the moment is all we can do. I am so happy for my older daughter. It isn’t sad for me because I know this is the best opportunity for her and she is exactly where she needs to be right now.

    • Doesn’t sound like it to me. Sounds like they wanted to have both parents and you were the one not willing to do that. Sounds like they’re in denial too about who you are and what you did. Not that they condone it but they were prepared to pretend it hadn’t happened. Kids do that. One day you might be judged like many cheats I know of as well as a parent of mine. Trust me kids judge parents harshly when they do terrible things and the cheat is the one who should worry about that. It ain’t over until the fat lady sings, and for young daughters that’s a long way off. The fact you’re even making it a competition about who they “want” is telling. You ought to be contrite for what you did to them and their mother and for the slut you brought into their lives. But few cheats can step up and take responsibility. Some can and it takes guts. You’re not one of them.

      • Sally says:

        Necrophilia….again your statements ooze of ignorance, bitterness and anger over your own shitty life. Not all are like that, and your assumptions are incorrect once again. Both parents were there, the ex just wasn’t going to accommodate someone and pay their way when she does the things that she does, many of which are nowhere to be found on this blog. She was welcome to attend and did. Why make a fuss? There’s no competition, but for you it seems like it is? Wow you really need to get some counseling to deal with those childhood issues. It’s a new day, bright and sunny, choose to look on the positive rather than the negative. Both parents were there. The daughter was the focus. End of story.

        Go back to Hicktown where you can continue to be the champion of hate, bitterness, anger and wallow in the shithole you call a life.

        Bye for now.

  4. Sally says:

    It’s odd really…..that you would write a blog like this, for more than 2yrs, and then think your ex should take you to Vancouver, incur ferry and gas expenses, spend 6hrs with you, and pretend like you’re the nicest person in the world? Don’t you think that’s a little strange on your part? Maybe you should see someone about that, because it seems like your perspective is a little off kilter.

  5. Sally says:

    All of this blogging stuff seems so unproductive. Isn’t the purpose to move forward with your lives? Why are you all droning on about the negative aspects of your lives for years on end? Surely that can’t be healthy or beneficial? Shouldn’t you be blogging about the positive things in your life that have happened since the relationship is now over? How happy you are? Your new relationships? The wonderful new things you’re doing with your lives? Why dwell on the hate and negativity for in some cases 5yrs after the fact? Get over it. It’s happened, nothing is going to change that or bring it back so be grateful you’ve learned something from it, apply it to your life going forward, and have a great life. What a waste of ones time to sit and write your blogs of negativity, and then spend the rest of your time commenting on others blogs and cheering on their negativity.

  6. Let go says:

    R, I think you should delete all comments. You know you have support from many of us but you now have some trolls. If you don’t let their comments appear they will eventually leave. In the mean time, you can read the positive comments and thank those who support you. Good luck.

    • Salem says:

      Sally & Happy seem to believe they should live their lives by those drippy little sayings The Clip! I agree, our blogger needs to block or delete the inane comments from the troll cheaters! They have come so undone over her exposing them, I find them terribly boring and petty! Cheaters HATE being exposed to the truth about themselves!

  7. TheClip says:

    Hey Salem! Cheaters hate to be exposed… But worse ..they hate being ignored! Got to get their ego fed somehow. And looks like Sally and Happy still need strokes from his ex wife…. They get this little tickle knowing that they are being pests and attempting to sabotage this blog. Funny thing is they are not getting that fact that they are the running joke. But I guess better to get negative attention than no attention at all. Isnt that right Sally ? Happy? You need attention. And she will give it to you… Cause you will write all over her blog page like a two year old having a tantrum. Ever see a two year old have a tantrum because they wernt getting what they want? You walk away… And they pick themselves up,and throw themselves in yr way again. They will insist on attention.
    Happy, maybe you and Sally need a nap? Someone will rub yr little tushies and give you a snack when u wake up. All better? Thought so you crazy kids! Your just hangry cheaters who need a nap.

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