adultery, affair, British Columbia, cheating, divorce, ex spouse, Family Law, legal system, separation agreement

Consent Order

I have given my lawyer all the receipts that my ex has failed to reimburse. Given the difficulties that I am experiencing with respect to reimbursement she has advised that an enforceable court order is required. I am only asking for reimbursement of items that we agreed to in mediation.  I sent him an email today to confirm his position.  This was his response:
“There is no failure to honour our agreement? I chose to pay those expenses you had incurred at mediation to resolve the issue. There was no agreement that going forward those expenses would be reimbursed.   You receive spousal support and within that you have to make due with whatever expenses you choose to incur. You claim to the girls you have no money but yet you’re going away this upcoming weekend?? Maybe you should focus your efforts on unpacking boxes and getting your new home in order rather than emailing me incessantly. Move on with your life and stop trying to get me to pay every little thing here and there. I have never asked you to contribute to anything but you are always asking me to pay for some little thing here and there. I pay my support on time and in full. You say you want nothing to do with me, so please don’t. Stop contacting me. If there is something that was a legitimate expense, then email or regular mail it. You don’t have to see me or drop off things to me. There’s no reason other than something to do with our kids that you need to have any contact with me.”
My ex’s lawyer is away on vacation for 2 weeks.  He is aware this is how we are proceeding.  He told my lawyer that if I proceed to get a court order then my ex will request a restraining order against me from attending his work.  We are fine with this.  The only reason I have ever attended his work (twice in the last 2 1/2 years) is to drop off expenses. The first time I attended his office with receipts my scanner wasn’t working and this most recent time my scanner is still packed in a box somewhere. Regardless of him receiving receipts, he isn’t paying.
We will write my ex’s lawyer our position in 2 weeks upon his return from vacation.  Failing a response that my ex agrees to give a Consent Order, we are immediately filing an application in court.
I just reviewed the mediation agreement and it is very clear that pet expenses were not an “interim expense pending the sale of the house” as some things in our mediation agreement were written up under this category. Even my ex’s lawyer, when he wrote up the good copy of the separation agreement based on the mediation agreement, wrote up a 50/50 split of pet expenses.  My lawyer indicates that pets are treated like children in family law.
We are applying to have the anticipated future expenses added on to the spousal/child support payments so I don’t have to finance my ex’s share or chase him down for reimbursement.  I can then provide the order to Family Maintenance and they will collect the monthly amount from my ex and provide it to me.  They do the chasing down and they have procedures in place to enforce payment.  It gives me an even further distance from my ex as I don’t even have to get a monthly etransfer notice from him.  The sum is directly deposited into my account by Family Maintenance.
The order is also to ensure we get full disclosure from my ex.  He still hasn’t provided his 2014 tax return. Therefore, the spousal and child support amounts are inaccurate. His lawyer promised it in June and is now promising it again in August.  Filing tax returns in Canada is considered late and penalties are imposed if your return is not filed by April 30. Avoiding, delaying and refusing has been the same old pattern we have experienced for the past 2 years.  They are also refusing to provide my ex’s banking information saying it is not relevant when in fact we have a very legitimate reason for requesting it.  There are transactions that don’t make sense so it appears he has failed to disclose at least one account. As per the mediation rules, if he failed to disclose, that money is automatically awarded to me.
After my ex sent me the quoted email above he sent me a further email today.
“Oh by the way i bought (younger daughter’s name) some sandals today that cost $125 which i expect you to reimburse me for. You can do an etransfer for me.”
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