On Sunday, January 26, it was my husband’s 46th birthday.  It was his weekend with our girls.  Our oldest daughter has only recently started to see him again and it is sporadic–“free food” is how she describes their relationship.  Our 11-year old daughter had dance practice on Friday and he picked her up afterwards, took her for dinner and she slept at his house.  On Saturday she made plans to stay at her friend’s place overnight so he dropped her off at her friend’s place at noon.  She never plans sleep overs when I have her for the weekend, only on her weekend with her dad. 

With my husband having no child to look after on Saturday night it made me wonder if my husband’s girlfriend would be taking him out to celebrate his birthday and reminisce over their hook up that same night a year ago.  I went to a movie on Saturday night and was constantly looking to see if they might show up.  I haven’t run into them yet but it is so rare that I go out that I just kept expecting to see them holding hands and smiling and laughing together.  They may have gone to the Keg and back to her place again.

On Saturday, he texted my older daughter and asked if she was going to “pop by” on Sunday.  She asked me, “Why would I pop by to see dad?”  She texted back, “No”. 

I didn’t tell either daughter it was his birthday.  It might be selfish but after I found out about his affair I confronted him about an item on our joint Visa card.  He confirmed he was with his girlfriend on the night before his birthday last year.  He originally told me that he was playing hockey and the guys on his team were taking him out for his birthday.  Instead, my husband and his girlfriend went to the Keg (the restaurant that my husband and I always went to with our girls for special occasions).  They had dinner and then went back to her place and had sex. Her husband was out of town.  My husband not only confirmed this happened he was cruel enough to tell me,  “It was the best birthday gift I ever gave myself.” 

The actual day of his birthday last year we went as a family to a hockey game.  He still uses a photo from this night as his Facebook photo–all smiles with the girls.  We gave him an iPad as his gift but clearly that didn’t compare to the gift he gave himself.  Those words resonate with me today so even though I gave him a lovely Father’s Day gift and Christmas gift from the girls, I refuse to acknowledge his birthday in an any respect ever again.