cheating, confrontation, control, infidelity, lawyer, other woman

The Other Woman

On March 5, 2013, I was driving home from my lawyer’s office.  I was close to the location of the other woman’s office.  I knew where she worked because of the e-mail address of her text messages and e-mails to my husband.

On a whim, I decided to pay her a visit.  I pulled into the parking lot, parked in the visitor parking and entered the building.  It was a 3-story office building.  The front lobby was very busy, the front information desk was crowded and I had no idea how I would find her.  I looked at the directory and noticed that the Risk Management Department was on the 3rd floor.  I knew again by her e-mail and texts that this was the department where she worked.

I walked up to the 3rd floor and saw a maze of cubicles.  I just stood and stared wondering how on earth I would find her.  Then I saw a sign over a door to my right that said “Risk Management Department”.  I walked through.  No one was at the front reception so I continued passed it walking down a corridor with open cubicles to each side.  On my right, a woman asked if she could help me.  I told her I was looking for J.A.  I said that I was Tiffany.  It was a name that I remembered from the other woman’s Facebook page that of course I checked out when I discovered the affair.  The woman said she was in and went to tell her that I was here.  I was considering following her down the corridor and into the office where she turned but I remained standing where I was.  The woman came back out and said she would be with me in a moment.  She told me I could sit down.  I remained standing.  The woman returned to her desk to my right.  Another woman came out of J.A.’s office, smiling, saying also, “She’ll be with you in a minute.”  That woman took a seat at her desk to my left.  I would have an audience.  Then a man exited J.A.’s office, looked down at me and turned the other way into the office beside J. A.  Then J. A. came out of her office towards me.  I was not aware at the time that she knew what I looked like or that she was the one that lingered by my husband the entire evening of his company Christmas party on December 14, 2012, hanging on his every word.

She started to walk towards me, looked at me and hesitated but kept moving forward.  “Are you J.A.”, I asked?

“Yes”, she said.

“I’m R.C.  I just wanted to see the face of the woman who is fucking my husband and I thought you might want to see the face of the woman who’s family you are contributing in tearing apart.”

She bowed her head and said, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s nice”, I said.  “I’ve never got a sorry from my husband.”  “Just to let you know I have a lab requisition to get tested for a multitude of sexually transmitted diseases.  I’ll be kind enough to extend to you the courtesy of letting you know if I have anything.  It might not be from you.  For all I know, he could be fooling around with other women.”  Then I turned and walked out. I heard her say, “I’m sorry, R.” as my back was turned to her and I was leaving.

I arrived home about 20 minutes later and walked through the front door.  My phone was ringing.  It was my lawyer.  He said to me that I didn’t tell him I was going to leave his office and go and make a scene at the other woman’s office.  I told him that I didn’t know I was going to do that.  He said that if he had known that he would have told me not to do it.  He said that he gave me the name of a counselor so I could talk to her about my feelings and not act out on them.  He said that he had hoped I would be working with him and that if I had feelings to do something like that again to tell him and not to do it.

I have no regrets.  It felt great.  I am very glad that I confronted her.

 

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3 thoughts on “The Other Woman

  1. fenix says:

    I’m just curious why do attorneys not want you to confront the other woman has he mentioned how that hurts you in court? just curious…

  2. I think lawyers always have a concern on how their clients will appear in court. One lawyer I spoke to said I wanted to make sure the judge’s sympathy was with me. However, my lawyer will not litigate. That is one of the criteria for the collaborative process. If I ever do have to go to court, it will not be with my lawyer. Because the collaborative process is supposed to be non-adversarial, I think my lawyer wants me to keep things nice. He told me that beating my husband over the head with a bat to get him to see our point will only cause him to dig his heels in further. I talked to another lawyer who suggested that “dropping bombs” before the case is settled is usually counter productive.

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