After much urging, and the realization that this blog is as much therapy for me as it is for others, I am back.
It was a weighing of opinions and advice.
I had to consider my lawyer’s admonishment to keep information between my husband, his lawyer, me and my lawyer only. I think I even signed a contract to that effect. I had to weigh out the displeasure of my husband regarding my “boundary issues” and what is appropriate to share and not share. I had to weigh out the concern of friends that I may share information that could be detrimental if my case goes to court. I had to weigh out the questioning of consequences if my children were to discover this blog.
Then I decided to consider me. Me is a new consideration. What do I want? What is good for me? What brings me pleasure? It feels selfish. It feels like everything I hate about my husband right now. He considered no one in his cheating actions accept himself and a lot of people have been hurt as a result.
Well, one thing all this considering confirms is that I couldn’t care less what displeases my husband.
With respect to my kids, there is less of a chance that they will discover this blog than there is that they find e-mails or texts back and forth between their dad and me. After all, it was my older daughter who found the incriminating e-mail and text messages between her dad and his girlfriend in the first place. They could open a journal of mine at anytime and find information that might not be appropriate for them to read. I would never do anything that I thought had the potential to damage my children. The sad fact is that they already know and have lived most of what I am sharing.
I don’t want a legal opinion every time I post a comment. Hopefully, I will not be ‘judged’ by sharing my story. It is the same truth that I would swear in a court of law or affirm at an Examination for Discovery. I pay my lawyer to represent me. I will not share confidential information that is part of information exchanged in the meetings between my husband and me and any of the other “experts” on our team. It is not my intention to breach any contract.
As for me, writing gives me a purpose. It is something that I have to accomplish in the day. It is something I enjoy. It is healing. It allows me to go back to the past and reexamine events to see if I have a new understanding, a better understanding, or an understanding at all of what happened in my life so I can learn for today and maybe make better choices and decisions tomorrow. It gets things out of my mind. It is freeing. It can be fun.
I feel the benefits of sharing my story outweigh the concerns, so let me catch you up to speed……