My older daughter returned from university at the end of April.
She lived with me for the summer last year and each time she returned from university she only stayed with me. She decided that upon her return from university she would live with me for the 4 months she is home for the summer.
The other woman decided to discuss this with my daughter. She tried to encourage her to live with her dad. She said, “Your mom doesn’t even have a separate bedroom for you to stay in does she?”
My daughter was feeling very stressed by the other woman initiating this conversation with her. I have no idea why she would get involved or even care. When my daughter did live with my ex, she was left alone most of the time while my ex worked and then went to the other woman’s place afterwards. Whenever I would drop her off there, no matter how late at night, his vehicle was never in the driveway and she always seemed to come home to an empty place. He would sleep at the other woman’s place and my daughter was by herself.
I suspect it is a money motivation. I currently pay my ex child support for my older daughter as she lived with him for one school year following our separation. As my ex has to pay more per child than I do based on his higher income level, he simply reduces his child support payment to me for our younger daughter by the amount that I owe him for our older daughter.
Now that it is obviously clear that both children are living with me full time, my ex is refusing to change the child support amount. He initially tried to argue with me that our older daughter still hadn’t decided where she was going to live and she was just “visiting” me so she could see her pets and sister. It has now been 1 month and she hasn’t stayed at her dad’s place once. He argued that her resume had his address listed. When she updated her resume, however, she listed my address and applied for jobs closer to my home. She obtained a full-time job and I am the one who drives her to work or gives her bus fare and I am the one who makes her breakfast before she goes to work, packs her a lunch and picks her up after work.
My ex said that if she does decide to stay with me he’s not saying he won’t pay support for her but it hasn’t happened yet.
He is now arguing that I don’t pay him support for our older daughter. This is his latest email to me on this topic:
” (Older daughter’s name) has not stayed with you full time since July 2015. (Older daughter’s name) primary residence has and remains as my place. Even her resume shows my address. Her mail is delivered to my address. Her belongings are at my place.
I’m not sure where you get the idea you pay support? You don’t pay anything. If so provide me with a copy of payments made to me? If you think that I don’t pay you any support for (older daughter’s name) is somehow you paying me, then you need to seriously rethink how you view things. And if you think you’ve paid for anything of (older daughter’s name) over the last two years other than a passport, again you’re seriously mistaken. I’m the one that she comes to and says Mom says it’s your responsibility to pay for things. You have a very strange way of viewing things at times.
I’m not continuing this dialogue with you. My lawyer has everything and it is up to the lawyers to communicate. If that hasn’t been done, then please have your lawyer follow up with (his lawyer’s name).”
We go back to court in June. This is just another dispute to add to the list.
I did send the other woman an email to the work email address listed to contact her on her employment website telling her to mind her own business and to not interfere in trying to persuade my daughter where to live to suit her own agenda.