My girls and I were at our last stop in Calgary, Alberta before catching our final flight back to Victoria. It was a long travel day and we were enjoying an excellent dinner at the Calgary airport. My daughter was legal drinking age in Alberta, 18 years old, so I was able to buy her a pomegranate mango passion fruit sangria (her choice) in a giant mason jar glass as her first legal drink.
My phone buzzed during our dinner and it was a text from my ex. He said, “btw… say hi to (friend’s name) for me.” Some how he found out who I was staying with in Florida during our trip. It is a guy that grew up on the same street as me in London, Ontario. He is 5 years older but my sister went to school with his sister, he knew my parents and me, we went to some of the same parties in high school and we reconnected in Toronto after university as we both worked in the insurance industry.
He was always very kind to me treating me to dinners, concerts and golf tournaments as his client when he was a marketing rep for a company that I used often for business purposes. When Dave and I were travelling on a road trip down to Baltimore and then up the east coast he generously gave us restaurant gift certificates and baseball tickets at stops along the way. He did the same thing after I won a trip to Las Vegas during a golf tournament he took me to as his guest. Dave and I went to Vegas and then stayed an extra week renting a car to travel around California.
My older daughter had lunch with her dad today before I drove her to the ferry to head back to school. Her dad mentioned my friend and said that he knew him and didn’t know why we kept it a secret that we were staying with him. It wasn’t a secret. Why would my ex think that me or my children should share any details of my life with him? My children didn’t find out about the trip until Christmas Day and we left at 3:45 a.m. the next day to go to the airport. Their dad chose to see the girls for lunch on Christmas Eve so they didn’t even see him after finding out about the trip. I told Dave in advance that we were going away and for how long so he was aware I was taking our daughters out of the country. He was fine with that, wrote me a letter for customs just in case, and didn’t ask where I was going let alone if I was going with anyone.
My older daughter asked him 3 times at lunch today how he knew that we were staying with my friend in Florida. She said that each time she asked he changed the subject and never responded to her question.
Hmm, I wonder if he knows who slept over at my house the night before we left on our trip and who drove us to the airport and then picked us up the night we returned. 🙂
Stop responding to him. Stop letting him get to you. You will be divorced. You had a great time with your girls. Let that be what you think about and not him. He is not worth another minute of your time. Tell your daughter to stay out of it. I got sucked into my parents problems and nearly had a breakdown. After my husband and I moved they did not have me as a buffer and divorced. They both remarried happily. You will find a wonderful life if you stay open to experiences like this one. Look ahead. Glad your trip was so special.
+1
Nosy little buggers, aren’t they? If only they cared to pay attention to us when they were married to us…lol!
Knowing where you are staying and what you are doing offer him comfort….and CONTROL. I agree with “Let go.” Ignore him. Don’t deny or confirm anything. IT’S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.
He only stalks you because he wants to control you for some reason. Weirdos like him like to make sure he can keep you under his thumb. The best thing for you is to ignore him, that will drive him crazy, the best thing for you is to keep busy and block him if he keeps acting like he has been. You cant worry about what you cannot read.
Oh yes. Control.
That’s what they want. Don’t give it to him…(note to self too)
Its called hoovering and its a common trait of Narcs