adutery, cheating, children, divorce, infidelity, Mid Life Crisis


I saw my ex and talked to him for the first time since I dropped off receipts at his office more than 3 months ago. We haven’t spoken or seen each other since he hijacked my blog. This time, I was the only one who spoke.  He just glared. Even behind those mirrored sunglasses I knew he was glaring.  He was completely stone-faced.  That in itself made me start to grin but it was the entire one minute exchange that for whatever reason I found completely comical and had me walking away in laughter.

He picked up my daughter for their Thursday night dinner together. He was taking her to watch him get his haircut first. How fun for her. She has fundraising to do for the Peninsula Young Performers and she didn’t want to ask her dad to help her based on past experience. She asked me if I would ask him on her behalf.

What my daughter doesn’t know is that I already gave her dad an opportunity, at the end of last dance season, for his company to be a corporate sponsor for the Peninsula Young Performers this dance season.  I offered to give the information to his partners but he said that he would handle it.  He asked me to forward the details by email and I did. When I received no response I followed up again at the start of this dance year.  Still no response. It is a very inexpensive marketing opportunity for them, with lots of different options from $150 to $1500, and an excellent way to glean community recognition with their company name appearing on the theatre marquis, name and logo on 60 posters displayed around the community, name and logo on a banner hanging outside the dance studio, advertisement in the programs, etc.  Some of their clients were sponsors last year. Not to mention how much it would mean to our daughter to have her dad and his company support her.

I told my daughter that it was her responsibility to fundraise if she had any hope of being able to go on the US dance competition trip in Portland, Oregon in March 2016. She said that she would ask anyone else but for me to please just ask her dad for her.  So when he arrived we both walked to his vehicle. She got in the back seat and I opened the front door of the passenger seat. The Bove wasn’t there. I guess she didn’t want to go watch him get his hair cut.

I held out 3 coupon books. I asked if he could sell each book for $20. I told him that $10 goes back to our dancer and the other $10 to Compassionate Warehouse Foundation. In the middle of my explanation he took the coupon books and threw them on the seat. He said nothing and just glared. Then I gave him a book of 10 tickets for the Hillside Mall “Night before late night shopping” event. I didn’t even get to explain those (he’s been to this event when we were together anyways) before he took them from me and threw them on the seat, also. I looked in the back seat at our daughter and she had a big grin on her face.

During this exchange, I became aware of my ex’s shirt. It looked like something Don Cherry, from Coach’s corner on Hockey Night in Canada, would wear.  It made me smile more. It had a plain white collar but the rest of the shirt had a busy, checkered pattern of various browns, maybe purple but nothing like I had ever seen him wear before.  His hair style is different from when we were together. It is shaved on the side and then long on top with some type of swoop happening. Plus he had on coloured, mirrored sunglasses. I wondered if it was all part of a mid-life crisis or if the Bove influenced his new style.

I couldn’t help but laugh. He just seemed like a cartoon character to me.  His user name, “Happy” on my blog is the antithesis of his angry personality as anyone who reads his comments recognizes but it made me happy seeing how hard he was trying to be whatever he was trying to be.

As I was about to close the door to his vehicle, I looked at my daughter again who was still smiling from ear to ear. I told her to have fun and that if she was lucky she might get to come with me to my next waxing appointment.


21 thoughts on “Fun-draising

  1. Sally says:

    Who takes anyone to “watch” them get their hair cut?? Maybe the ex was taking her to the mall so she could shop and they get to spend more time together?

    Maybe you should get your “employer” to raise funds for your daughters dance? What are you doing about that? You don’t pay for it, so maybe you could find a way to contribute? Less time on this blog and more time raising funds would be beneficial to your daughter.

    Do you think the Peninsula Young Performers would appreciate having the “President” writing about them in this fashion? Maybe this blog should be sent to the executive to see what they think?

    And btw……maybe you should wax that thing. Might have a chance at keeping a guy if you get into the 90’s.

    • Dave takes his daughter to watch him get his hair cut, that’s who. There weren’t any chairs available for her to sit in so he told our daughter to “go walk around” and then he texted her when he was done. Just being in the same building is not spending time together. Is that what you would like for your date night? He didn’t give her any money to go shopping. He didn’t tell her to go look for something and he would buy it for her afterwards. He didn’t buy her a thing. When he was done getting groomed he took her to Subway in the mall and then back home. How special do you think time with her dad makes her feel?

      I do pay for my daughters dance. I went into debt to pay for it, 100%, for 2 years before Dave contributed a dime and now I pay the percentage that I am required to pay plus pick up the slack for what Dave refuses to pay. I went to all of her competitions and performances and yes, I am on the executive as there was a need to be filled that no one else wanted to do. That is what a supportive and loving parent does–meets the needs of their children and volunteers when required as I have done all throughout both of my children’s schools and activities.

      You are so concerned about how Dave’s money is being spent on anyone but you. How terrible it must be for you that the law requires him to pay a portion of his daughter’s extra-curricular activities based on his income. How sad it is that I have to take him to court to get him to just follow the law. Are you threatened that you might not get another Pandora charm from him if he pays a portion of her dance? I’m pretty confident he takes you to nicer places than Subway for dinner since he was doing that on my Visa card until I cancelled it.

      Maybe if you had children you wouldn’t be so selfish.

      I am sorry that you are only as valuable to a man as the hairs of your bush.

      • Sally says:

        I’m not who you think I am so whoever the whore or ex is, is of no concern to me.

        You lie about everything. You paid for nothing. How did you pay for the things you claim when you don’t have a job? You have no income so how did you pay for this stuff that you claim? You haven’t worked for 10 yrs. The ex paid for everything and continues too. You only pay a percentage now from the money he gives you.

        It’s a joke you talk about the law when he paid for your home and your debt. You didn’t contribute anything to those costs, but yet you make up stories about having to go to court for stuff. You’re lost in a dreamland of delusion. No wonder your marriage went into the crapper. You don’t have a clue what went on around you. You still don’t!

  2. Sally says:

    Can’t wait for the reply from the angry, bitter, cheerleader sisters such as Lan/Lania, Salem. Pump up the blogger and burn down the house.

    • You’ll have to go back and read my other posts, Sally. The ones I have been writing for 2 1/2 years before you found out about my blog and showed up with your comments. The ones that just spell out the facts. The ones where my ex cries now since discovering my blog that I have no boundaries because I have shared everything.

      You are obviously the one who has been fed a lot of garbage if you believe that I didn’t pay for anything. Why do you think I am the liar? You couldn’t be my ex because he knows what I paid for unless he is hiding behind this user name purposely lying as he has on other comments he has made.

      Dave didn’t pay for our home or our debt. I have a continuous income and always have. I made more money than Dave prior to moving here and I am the one with the benefits. He is still going through my benefits for his dental and medical coverage. I had an inheritance that paid for our home and other things. I had a very good non-taxable income that Dave had me give up for an insurance settlement. This was when he was having an affair and I didn’t know it. He wanted an insurance settlement for his benefit. It wasn’t the wisest thing for me to do at all. I did it at his urging. Ask Dave’s parents if you don’t believe me. I showed his mom the insurance settlement cheque and she knows we bought our Victoria home with my inheritance because I was afraid we were going to lose our deposit when the bank didn’t want to extend a mortgage to us because our Cambridge home hadn’t sold.

      Ask Dave to see the mediation agreement that spells out I got the first $166,000 from our home because that is money I contributed directly to our home. The mediation agreement also spells out that I paid off our line of credit in the amount of $122,500 (I think that was amount as I don’t have the agreement in front of me). I paid off all of our pre-separation debt that was used to buy Dave’s Coast Claim shares and property he wanted in Youbou that I never even saw. I paid our daughter’s private school education with our line of credit and our other daughter’s braces and dance. Dave didn’t contribute a dime. I used our line of credit to pay for these things to try to keep our children’s lives as stable as possible until our separation/divorce settlement. Dave took out money from our line of credit and I believe has it hidden in another account because there were several transactions he couldn’t explain or account for during mediation. We have been asking for disclosure but he refuses. This will be dealt with in court.

      What Dave did pay during our separation was my share of the mortgage and my share of the line of credit interest. It was well below the amount he should have been paying me for child support and spousal support.

      There is a court date coming. I’ll let you know the date so you can come and listen in and learn the truth for yourself.

      I suspect you are Janice or why would you be so passionate about being sure you know the truth and I don’t. If I were you, Janice, I would ask to see Dave’s Facebook messages. Let’s see if he shows you his messages to Marli, Debbie and Sandra. Ask to see the ones to Rod, too.

      There were obviously things going on around me that I didn’t know. Not because I lived in dreamland or because I was delusional. I was a trusting wife busy taking care of the needs of my family, husband, pets and home. I had an active social life and I was physically active, too.

      I didn’t start a blog to share my experience about infidelity and divorce so I could lie about it. This is my life, Janice. You can think you are better than me, smarter than me, more truthful than me, prettier than me, better in bed than me, a harder worker than me or whatever it is you need to believe but if you really do believe what you wrote in your above comment you are the one who is delusional and/or living in the dreamland.

      • Sally says:

        Oh once again Abandonned tells her very incorrect tales of woe. How long do you spend thinking up these lies? What a joke you are as a person. Steve got a real winner in you. How is that going with your married friend that you keep steering clear of?

        Anyways this all sounds very heroic on your part. It’s amazing how you haven’t had a job for 10yrs but yet you claim to have been paying for everything? Interesting thought process? I guess your ex just lived quietly in the corner and didn’t contribute financially while you put the world on your shoulders and paid for everything yourself with magical dollars from the money tree in your backyard?

        You didn’t end up paying $122,000 for debt. You were assigned it because you STOLE over $90k from a line of credit and then spent the remainder on your personal life. If you were what you claim why would you get assigned that kind of debt? The records are there and they are very clear what you STOLE!

        Funny how you think “paying for my daughters school and dance” with a LINE OF CREDIT is “paying for things”? Wow are you ever delusional when it comes to money? You don’t “pay” for something by putting it on a line of credit that is assigned to you both!!

        FB messages? I think you have a few emails with a person from your past that you wouldn’t want your friends here to read or see. Might expose your hypocrisy. Might show them that you’re the cheater that you claim your not?

        Please make sure to tell us all about this great court case. Can’t wait to be there and witness you Perry Mason! You’re penny wise and pound foolish. Spend a $1,000 to try and recover a dollar. Once again your math doesn’t add up.

        Oh and btw….I’m not the ex or the OW. Must make you wonder how I know so much about you? Just goes to show that there are people you think are in your camp and they really aren’t.

        Have a nice day Abandonned. I hear there’s some great TV on.

  3. Lania says:

    Abandonned, thats awesome. Both you and your daughter obviously see what a twit your ex is. Its really quite predictable, isn’t it? Just gotta wait for him and his whore to get all pissy again about it and spam all over your blog about ‘bitterness’ or perceived slights like I said yesterday. 🙂

    • Sally says:

      Oh there’s our dim witted friend Lania. The sad, bitter, angry woman who’s been cheated on and loves to share her thought provoking diatribes on blogs such as these. Where’s all the fancy cheaters handbook lingo today? No fuckwads or fuckwits, or OW’s?

  4. Phoenix says:

    One day I will be able to see the ex without throwing up or wanting to shoot his ass. Lol…even if it were to see him squirm or to show him how awesome I am looking whereas his bovine slut mistress gf is probably hitting the 300lb mark. LMBOOOOO!!! Get your chuckles in, Chile. Ain’t nobody mad at ya.

  5. Alex says:

    I think errands with your kids is part of normal life so it’s not that big a deal. It’s ok for her not to get something or be treated to Something all the time. You don’t have a job so you volunteer for them, and he can help sell booklets and maybe his work sponsors. I don’t get why everyone’s underwear is in a big bunch. This is all just life balance. Although his hair sounds douchey, but that’s how folks are doing it now. I’m just not that girl. I prefer lumberjacks. Wild and woolly looking.

    • Her dad only sees her for 2 hours during the week. He changed the day he sees her from Tuesday to Thursday to suit him, not her. It would be nice if he took those 2 hours and made it about time together and time for her instead of making her walk around the mall while he got his hair cut. Is it really unfair for him to not leave 2 hours during the week to focus on his daughter’s needs instead of his own needs? He could have got his haircut first (he has a running 4-week set haircut schedule) and then got her or more appropriately, change the day and time he gets his hair cut. It just didn’t make her feel special at all. She would have rather been home doing homework. I give him full access to his daughter anytime on any day. He could have chose any other day during the week to have dinner with her. The way she sees it is she is another “errand” he has to take care of so he kills 2 birds with one stone.

      On a positive note, he apparently sold his entire book of tickets for the Night of Lights at Hillside Mall! I am not entirely confident he will hand over the $50 to her though.

      • Sally says:

        Your rapidly deteriorating mind continues to fool you. Your ex leaves work early to pick up the daughter. His haircut takes all of 15 minutes. Wow what an inconvenience to the daughter. He does this so NOT to cut into his time with her so they can eat and hang out afterwards. Why is this such a big deal to you? You don’t bring your daughter on errands that you do? Surely you do and it would be a lie to say you don’t, but that would be the norm for you and this blog.

        What other night would he spend with her? She has dance every night?

        You’re so consumed with distorting the facts for your own benefit.

        Why not just be positive and be happy that they get to spend that time together, instead of trying to turn everything he does into some made up negative story?

  6. Sally says:

    The entire post is pretty stupid and just speaks to Abandonned’s mindset. She’ll look to twist anything the ex does into a negative. She takes her daughter to do errands, does anyone say anything about that? It’s ridiculous. What’s next, he took out the garbage while she was at his house and there’s something wrong with that?

    Grow up!

      • Sally says:

        Do you do any errands? Steve makes dinner every night because your too lazy. Your house looks like a bomb went off. You still haven’t finished unpacking from a move 4 months ago. You don’t have a job? So what’s the excuse? Too busy playing on your computer?

  7. What is clear, Sally, is that you aren’t in my camp. How funny that you, Dave and friends all want everyone to believe you are all my friends trying to save me and my life through my blog. Your writing and words sound verbatim to what Dave says. I’ve heard him talk for 23 plus years so I know what he sounds like. You must be very close indeed yet you still need to write lies because you just don’t know details. Dave has a habit of not liking the truth and hopes to distract by putting out words that paint the world the way he would prefer it to appear. Why I think you are Dave is that he, too, is a coward. He hides behind everything and denies and deceives. Your posts are classic Dave. Not true? Get some courage and tell us your real identity. You are standing by the truth aren’t you? You are way too invested in this blog to be anyone else.

    • Sally says:

      Hahaha, you of all people saying get some courage? Aren’t you the same person who was hiding behind this blog unidentified, but sharing the ow’s identity? Names, pics, places of employment etc? You didn’t share the same about yourself until you were unceremoniously outted. Is that what you call courage?

      Here’s a definition I found for you and tell us all if you think you’ve showed that in light of this blog?

      Courage – strength in the face of pain or grief.

      Do you think there’s courage in writing the negative filled lies that you have? I would say having courage would be to exercise some class and dignity. None of which you have done through this process. Let the ex and the whore be what they are. Everyone knows that, so why do you have spend your time trying to spin stories to make yourself better? Who cares what they do or say. Hold your head high and move on in a positive manner with your life. Why bring yourself to their level?

  8. TheClip says:

    Hey Sluty… What is your pay out here? Good Samaritan? Brownie Badge?
    For someone not invested in the ‘ relationship’ you seem to object a lot to what is said on this blog…. Particulary… You have a hard on for Abandon? Whats yr deal?
    Cause if none of it were true… Who cares right? That would be the rational reaction. But you get ramped up with every paragraph… U gotta prove it wrong. Sounds awefully personal. Most friends or aquaintances really wouldnt give a crap… But u… U are invested. U loveeeeeeee the fight.
    Maybe u should sit back and connect the dots baby. Figure out the BS you have had handed to u by Humpy. Humpy needs to have u in his court fighting… So he will tell u anything to get that fighting spirit up… U are Humpy heavy. You come out swinging. It is entertaining at best. In a couple of years time u will revist all this… When u discover how much of a liar Humpy is. Lies of omission… Are still lies. Humpy needs u and he has groomed u well puppet.

    • Sally says:

      Hahaha more stupidity spewed from theclap. What’s my payout? What’s your payout? You seem somewhat invested here? You’re constantly yapping away about the OW’s, Humpy, Slutty whatever other terms of endearment that you use? Why are you here? Why do you think you’re the sheriff and can say what you do? What’s the point to your commentary? Let the world know that you have the intellect of a rock? How witty you are? How hateful you are?

      You’re a person with a lot of misplaced anger. You should get some help for that.

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