June 25 was my birthday. It was also my move day.
The day started with my ex texting me wishing me a happy birthday and asking me if I would be going to our older daughter’s grad dinner the next night. I had initially planned on going, 4 days before it was to happen, even though the timing was terrible. Our house closed the day of grad dinner at 5:00 p.m. I was moving the day before and was planning on just leaving the close day as my cleaning day but based on past move experiences I was aware of the potential for unforeseen glitches.
In the weeks leading up to our move, I had no help from any of the 3 other people responsible for the accumulation of stuff that was in the house. I alone was placed with the burden to pack and move everyone else’s things. I had garage sales, took items to auction, posted items for sale on line, consignment, donation, friends, the dump, etc. but the pile remained. It was 23 years of life with someone else, 17 years of one daughter’s things and 13 years of another. It included stuff given to us when my ex’s grandmothers past away and when his parents downsized to live in their cottage as well as items boxed up and moved here when my mom passed. t included boxes that had never been opened by us when we moved here 7 years ago. Yet no one else wanted to take responsibility for going through boxes, making decisions about what to keep and throw out and actually packing those things and taking them with them.
4 days before my oldest daughter’s grad dinner (I went to her grad ceremony the night before and took her, her sister and even my ex to dinner afterwards because he bought my grad dinner ticket), she parroted her dad. I asked her to come and sort through her boxes to see what she wanted to keep and take with her to her dad’s place or university and what she wanted to discard. She told me that if she was going to be “forced” to come over I better have her boxes out and ready to go through and not waste her time. I told her that I needed her to come with an attitude to help and that she at the very least could take responsibility for her own belongings. She told me that by her not helping it would teach me not to procrastinate and that I was only trying to get someone else to do my work for me. I reminded her that in the days leading up to the move when she knew I had a zillion things to do that she had no problem asking me to do things for her. I was driving her around to get her grad dress altered, her eyebrows threaded, and other errands she had asked me to do with her between my own appointments with lawyers and packing and getting rid of unwanted items. She never showed up to help.
My birthday move, however, was going well. A friend showed up at 8:30 a.m. with a big box of giant garbage bags and an Iced Capp from Tim Hortons. Another friend showed up with cookies for me. Another friend went to school and picked up my daughter and her friend for me (last day of school and the kids only had to go for 1 1/2 hours). The movers arrived. Friends came to help clean and pack up last minute items. My youngest daughter’s friends came and helped her finish up her packing and cleaning her bathroom and bedroom. I had a ton of birthday phone calls, emails, texts and Facebook messages that I was too busy to respond to or acknowledge until 4 days later. A friend brought pizza and a birthday cake over for dinner and anyone who was around stayed and we had a little party. Another friend brought me tiny donuts still warm from the Sidney Summer market. (My friends know me and my sweet tooth very well). Another couple of friends came and moved my t.v. and computer as the cable/internet provider was coming to my new place to hook things up the next day.
It was a long, busy and tiring day but through it all I felt loved and supported. I felt very happy to be physically moving on to the next chapter in my life.