adultery, affair, cheating, deceit, divorce, office romance, separation

The Other Other Woman

In Feburary 2013, I suspected that my husband might be having an affair.  This was less than 2 weeks before I found the evidence.

There was only one female adjuster working in his office with him.  She is young, attractive, and probably in her late 20’s when I first met her. It was 2012. She had a baby and was only just starting back to work on a part-time basis after her maternity leave.  There was an afternoon barbecue being held at one of the business partner’s home. She left her baby sleeping in the car in the driveway while she came in to visit.  She left to go out on a claim about an hour later and then came back afterwards without the baby.

The second time I met her was at another function at the same partner’s home.  Her husband was with her this time.  She talked to me quite a bit.  I remember thinking that she seemed like a good step mom to her husband’s first child based on everything she was telling me that she did for this child. I asked my husband after the party what he thought of her and his comment was odd.  He said, “If we had children together they would have bad skin.” I never noticed her bad skin but my husband has a scarred face from acne. He obviously had given thought to having children with her.

After that, I found her to be a bit cocky. She called me by an incorrect name which was joke from a previous party when I told her that another adjuster in their office kept calling me Bonnie. She took it to the point of being disrespectful and she did it in front my husband. He laughed in support of her.

Then when I took cupcakes into their office in February 2013 for another adjuster who was just diagnosed with cancer (he had asked me specifically about these cupcakes before his diagnosis so when I was near this bakery I decided to go in and buy him some). The female adjuster saw me and called to me from her office, “I am just on the phone with your hubby.” He was on Salt Spring Island. I thought it odd that he was out on a claim and calling her. I was certain she was the one he was having the affair with and they might very well have been also.

Shortly after my separation I was told that she and her husband separated also. Then in July 2013 I learned that she had slept with one of my ex’s business partners. I told my ex that when he drove my daughter and me (a weird and rare gesture because I had a flat tire) to my girlfriend’s cabin for the day. My ex said matter-of-factly, “I didn’t know that.”

He didn’t ask me how I knew. He didn’t tell me it was bull-shit and he didn’t lambaste me as he usually does about fabricating some fantasy. He certainly wasn’t surprised or shocked. He must have suspected.

He actually told a mutual friend of ours that his office is like the t.v. series Mad Men where everyone sleeps with everyone. For all I know they all share each other (my ex did share details, shortly after he started to work there, of swinging that went out with one of the couples in his office).

I figured afterwards he was only with Janice because he was looking and she obviously showed interest. The big plus is that she doesn’t have kids. That is an important factor for him.

In October 2013, my daughter was at my ex’s office waiting for him to come back to take her around to sell a fundraising item for her dance. Another lady in the office kindly offered to take her around since my ex was late and I waited in the reception area. I saw that there was an incident occurring in front of this other woman adjuster’s office. The lady taking my daughter around looked at me apologetically. I was told after she was on the phone but she had done something to make my daughter feel very uncomfortable. I was told after by my ex that this female adjuster didn’t want me to come into their office again. I never even saw her. She shouldn’t have even know that I was there. I thought that if she was such a good mom and friend to my husband she would eagerly support my daughter in her fundraising efforts. I feel like her reaction to my daughter’s present was inexplicably over the top. My daughter made the decision then and there that she never wanted to go into my ex’s office again so I really don’t know what she saw this woman do.

After I switched lawyers because the Collaborative process was not working, I found out that my ex referred this other woman to my lawyer for representation. He confirmed that with me. He felt that my lawyer would be a good fit for her. This seemed so bizarre.

Since then my kids have mentioned the other adjuster’s name. My ex talks about her in random ways to them. He told my kids that she worked at Garage and didn’t like the job because she had to tell people they looked good in clothes when they didn’t.

My kids also told me that it was this adjuster who looked after my ex’s fish while he was in Ontario with Janice and our children. They said specifically that she would come by his place with her son to feed Waldo. I got to thinking that she must know what Janice drives since Janice works part-time in their office. She must have seen her vehicle parked on the street if it is was in fact there. She would have noticed if there was any vandalism.

Then I got to thinking that maybe she is the one who vandalized the vehicle if there is a little love triangle going on.

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59 thoughts on “The Other Other Woman”

  4. Sally says:

    I’ve read through your blog and can’t believe the horrible things that have been done to you and your girls. I can see you are a good Christian woman who believes in God and are seeking the Lord’s way through this very difficult time. I too have been devastated by acts like these. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Reply

    • Thank you for sharing your concern and for taking the time to read my posts. When I started this blog it was just a way to share and reflect on my experience. I didn’t know my journey through the devastation of an affair and divorce would get so ugly and last so long. I am trying to report my experience for others and show how even a “good Christian woman” can let Satan get the best of me many times. I can’t control the actions of my ex and even through all of the avenues of the legal system I am finding it hard to obtain a resolution to the financial issues we have. It is so sad that 23 years of partnership and friendship and financial security for us and our girls have all come to nothing. I just want it to be over and I don’t want to have to talk to him or see him ever again. There are lessons for me and my ex and the other woman in all of this and I hope that anyone finding themselves in one of those roles can learn something from my experience to help them get onto a better path.

      Reply
  7. Sally says:

    Do you think your behavior and comments are Christian like??

    The host of this site is Robyn Graham Cherrie of Victoria, BC

    Reply
  10. Sally says:

    Those cum guzzling, alien fucking, ass worshiping, freakshows

    The host of this site is Robyn Graham Cherrie of Victoria, BC

    Reply
    • dora1983 says:

      Thanks Sally. Now we can deduce that the buttplug she speaks of can be no other than her ex husband Dave Cherrie. Thanks for the info. Pass it on.

      Reply
  16. happy says:

    Devils advocate…you have got to be kidding. This entire blog is a complete farce and as “low” as a human being can possibly stoop

    Reply
  19. Sally says:

    Why is everyone fighting here? Devil’s Advocate and Happy kiss and make up!! We need to keep this site going for our mutual enjoyment and pointing out the lies and hatred that are being spread by Robyn Graham Cherrie of Victoria, BC

    Reply
  20. happy says:

    You’re right sally. I am happy afterall. Devils advocate maybe we can all get together, you me and Bonbon and discuss dave and his alien sex ring

    Reply
  21. Devil's Advocate says:

    That’s Mr. Devil’s Advocate to you David.
    Your split personality shines through even in the digital world 😉 You’re posting on here just illustrates the mental instability you exhibit in real life.
    Now take your toys and move along to another sandbox. You’re not playing nice here.

    Reply

  22. The internet is a great tool for knowledge, but I find it a shame that it is used as a personal diary. I prefer to keep my journal under my bed. However, now everyone following you knows who you are and can figure out who your children are and your ex as well. A shame really. I wish you the best tho.

    Reply
  28. Sally says:

    Hey Devil’s Advocate, I’m a middle aged, single, Christian woman looking for a man with an edge. How’s about you and me go play hide the cross in the depths of hell?

    Reply
  30. Devil's Advocate says:

    What I play, err I mean you play is “I know you are but what am I”.
    The great thing about this thread is we are all the same person! Me, Bonbon, Sally (Silly girl) Happy and Dave . Oh! can’t forget Sybil.
    Trix are for kids… this bores me.

    Reply
  35. Sally says:

    Come on big DA…..why leave the party so soon? The fun is just getting started and you and me are destined for a little horizontal mambo in hades.

    The host of this site is Robyn Graham Cherrie of Victoria, BC

    Reply
  36. Winner winner chicken dinner says:

    Arguing on the internet is like racing in the special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

    Reply

  38. Wow SWB they’re pretty darned insecure it seems. I’d be dancing if I were you. Vindication is a wonderful thing and people who write this kind of insane comment are kind of pitiable in a way. Hold your head high.

    Reply
    • Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right says:

      You can’t hold your head high when there are unpacked boxes and kitty litter everywhere. You can’t hold your head high when you eat out every day in one form or another.
      Hold your head high when you are constantly quoting what personality disorders your ex seems to resemble…

      There is nothing proud about anything that has happened here. The games are beyond anything that remotely resembles good parenting and adult behavior.

      I’m so sad for those kids.

      Reply

      • I think having been cheated on she has the right to do whatever she wants to you and your tart. No one who will cheat with you is ever more than a slut anyway by definition. Sorry but the betrayed spouse has the moral high ground and does not need to do anything to gain it. You handed it to her. So if you’re so happy with your slut why are you trolling? LOL pretty obvious you’ve got issues that are nothing to do with this blog.

      • Timetomoveon says:

        Nephila, whoever you are, if you don’t know Robyn personally, then please do not get involved. If you do know her, then please realize that every situation is different, and just because you or your mother were cheated on doesn’t give you the right to be the morality police here. The utter crap you are saying is absolutely ridiculous. I think you need to back away from this situation and stop enabling Robyn. She needs help. You are saying things that only reinforce what she is thinking. This is why she needs to delete this blog, and rid herself of you negative people.

      • Timetomoveon the only one who needs to move on is you and your cronies. Every cheater has different cruelties but cheating is always wrong. Yes that means the cheated on always has the moral high ground. Always. Don’t like that? Don’t cheat. A betrayed spouse, any betrayed spouse always has the right to deal with it as best she can and no cheat has any right to criticise her. Care to defend the cheat? Defend the slut he cheated with? That says something about you, and then. Not anyone else.

  40. perdido says:

    wow someone has their panties in a wad lmao guess you struck a nerve – if you don’t like what you’re reading don’t read it.

    Reply

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