cheating, infidelity, marriage breakdown, relationships, separation

Handling the evidence

It was obvious there was an emotional and physical affair taking place between my husband and another woman. So what was I going to do with that information?

My 15-year old daughter who now had intimate details of her dad’s infidelity wanted us to go and wake him up. I knew I didn’t want her involved in any confrontation with her dad regarding the affair. She wanted to call the girlfriend. I also didn’t want her involved in doing that. I was still in shock but I was very calm, numb, but present and my mind was sharp, in think mode. I needed to plan out, as wisely as I could under these foreign circumstances, how best to proceed.

At this point, time was on our side as he would be sleeping for another 5 hours. He had to get up early to go to Vancouver in the morning. He was meeting some other coworkers downtown where he was leaving his car and was going to be flying by seaplane to the mainland to conduct some social business.

We were to fly to Florida on a family vacation starting the next weekend. My younger daughter and I were flying out on March 9 and then my husband and older daughter the Saturday after that due to the difference in the scheduling of our children’s March breaks. We were to be staying with my husband’s parents at a place they rented in Englewood. My 15-year old daughter decided we had to tell Nanny and Poppa. Due to the time difference (they were 3 hours ahead of us so it would be 3:00 a.m. for them) we decided to send a copy of the longer emails between my husband and the other woman to my in-laws and then copied my husband and the other woman. This way I knew that when my husband woke up he would check his Blackberry and know that his daughter, me and his parents were in on his little secret.

I also advised my closest friends by e-mail that my husband was having an affair. It was only when they questioned me as to whether I was sure or if it might just be a misunderstanding or suspicion did I send them a copy of the text where he was professing how beautiful, sexy and mesmerizing she was to him and that he wanted to be with her at all times, have sex with her soooo badly and that he loved her.

We did check out the other woman’s facebook. She had posted that she liked someone as of November 7, 2012. I checked the date and that was the date that my husband and I attended one of his work functions to watch the movie Skyfall. It was likely that she would have been there as well. There was a long period of time where I went and saved us seats while he went to get concessions.

We then contacted a lock smith. We had it all set up for someone to come and change the locks at 9:00 a.m. after my husband would have been gone. It was all arranged until she checked where we lived and told us that the lock smith for our area just quit the day before so there was no one able to come.

We downloaded a couple photos of women off of my husband’s phone and then I returned it back to the bathroom and plugged it in so it could continue to charge the way he had left it. Then we waited.

My daughter and I went into the bedroom in our unrented suite and lied down. I didn’t sleep. I would get up and sit at the bottom of the stairs to listen to see if he was up yet. My daughter and I snuggled, talked and we finally decided at 3:00 a.m. our time to contact my birth mom and step dad who were also in Florida on vacation. It was 6:00 a.m. their time but I needed to talk to someone. I knew I would wake them up. My daughter also felt the need to talk to someone and felt they would give us the best support and advice.

They didn’t have a lot to say. I think they were in shock, we had woke them up, they had never gone through this before, they didn’t expect this, certainly didn’t think it was in my husband’s character to do this and even though my mom had visited in November 2012 for 2 weeks she thought, apart from my husband seeming more quiet, that everything was fine. Their advice was to talk to my husband and not to do anything rash like change the locks.

So, I finally heard him up. He was up for awhile and I began to wonder if he would even come down to see us before he left. Then I heard him letting the dog out. I can still here the sound of his heavy foot steps walking back towards our bedroom. I was lying on my side with my arm around my daughter who was sleeping on her side. My back was to the bedroom door. He walked into the room and called my daughter’s name. She didn’t respond. He said her name again and added, “I’m sorry that you saw what you did. I’d like to talk to you about it when I get back on Sunday.” She quipped, “I bet you would.” Then he left. Not a word to me.

His family life as he knew it was no more; it had imploded. Instead of cancelling his social weekend of business in which there was no consequence to him not attending and staying home to talk to his daughter, talk to his wife, he made it obvious by his actions that he had already left us in his mind and now physically he was gone, too.

I got out of bed when I heard him leave and contacted a lawyer.

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One thought on “Handling the evidence

  1. Sally says:

    Perry Mason to the scene. Da da da da!! You broke the case. Book ’em Dano

    The host of this site is Robyn Graham Cherrie of Victoria, BC

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