I was very excited to pick up my daughter last Friday night for her first weekend home after leaving for university. She took the ferry from Vancouver back to Victoria for the Thanksgiving long weekend. Her roommate was supposed to come with her. We had a lot of plans to show her roommate around Victoria for the first time but she had the stomach flu and wasn’t able to travel.
My daughter and I stayed up past 3:00 a.m. talking. She was very emotional coming home. She cried when she saw her pets. She knows that my dog died when I was at university living away from home and her roommate just received the same sad news. It is one of my daughter’s biggest fears. She asked me to please make sure I call her to come home and say goodbye if any of our pets needed to be put down.
She also cried about her past mistakes. She says she has no regrets but I know her wounds run very deep and she has scars that will remain constant reminders. She says she doesn’t feel the need to experiment with anything now and she thinks she will choose boyfriends more wisely. I told her that I didn’t understand her choices to remain with people who were harming her on many levels or to make decisions with so little care for the well-being of her own body.
She said, “Mom, I clearly had daddy issues.”
I told her that I understood how terribly hurt she was by her dad’s behaviour but she only ended up hurting herself more. Why did she choose to punish herself? I feel so remorseful over things she went through and don’t know if there was anything that I could have said or done differently to prevent it all. I certainly tried. I tried to get her in counseling, tried to involve her dad for help and support, was at her school regularly and on the phone with her home room advisor, counselors and even arranged a meeting with all of her teachers and dad to try to get her back focused on school. Living with her dad only allowed her to get into more trouble. She liked being there because there was no parental involvement. She said it was like having her own place; she could do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.
She thinks she came out of it all okay. She thinks she has a better relationship with her dad and with me. I don’t think she is okay. I think it is a child’s justification. I still see some concerning behaviour. I don’t see her relationship with either parent as “better”. The relationships are just more “real”. The parent/child lines blurred and disappeared. We all displayed and exposed human nature at it’s most real, flawed, frightening, vulnerable, ugly, wounded, hurt, sad, selfish, scared and out of control. I wasn’t able to protect my daughter from anything. I couldn’t even protect myself from the decisions of my husband. She lost every bit of security she knew when her parents were no longer a solid, unified front and her family foundation crumbled.
Then she started to cry for her sister. She said that she is so afraid her sister is going to do what she did. She said she loves her sister so much and tells everyone how much she respects her. She doesn’t want anything negative to happen to her. She mourned for her sister’s relationship with her dad. She sobbed, “Mom, you did not deserve to have happen what dad did to you. Dad is such an asshole and you are so much better off without him.” Then she hugged her dog and said, “You hate Janice, don’t you, Bingo. You hate her, too.” Then she went on to cry, “But I am not sad for you, mom, and I am not sad for me. I am sad for (sister’s name).” And she just cried.
She said that her sister hates her dad. I told her that wasn’t true. She said that her sister is Team Robyn and lets Janice and her dad know it to their face. I told her that her sister protects her dad to me, too. However, I told my daughter that her dad has also let her sister down time and time again (which she nodded and said she knew) and that it is not her responsibility to fight for her dad and sister’s relationship. I let her know that I had done that repeatedly to no avail and had to just let it go. It hurts me equally to see her dad ignore her and choose other people and things over our child but all I can do now is let her dad know he can see her whenever he wants and I am there when he choses not to see her.
Thanksgiving weekend was “his” weekend. And yet, he played hockey Friday night instead of picking our youngest daughter up from dance and having dinner with her or getting our older daughter from the ferry. He had his own plans all day on Saturday. He saw the girls for 4 hours on Sunday and then didn’t see them at all on the Monday holiday. And that was “his” weekend.
I told my daughter that she could only be responsible for her relationship with her dad and her relationship with her sister. As an example I shared with her that I knew how she helped her sister when her dad did not. I told her how much her sister appreciated her staying with her during their kayaking excursion when their dad took them back to Ontario in the summer. My younger daughter had never been kayaking before and yet her dad put her in a single kayak on a very choppy day on Lake Huron. Dave and Janice went in a double kayak together. My younger daughter told me she was crying, kept getting pushed back into shore, was last and very far behind everyone else. She told me it was her sister that stayed with her the most and that her dad kept yelling at her what she was supposed to be doing instead of actually doing anything to help her or be with her. Her cousin, who also went out with them, told her afterwards that she sucked. It was the worst experience. Her dad had no consideration at all for her needs or her safety and he was not in the least bit loving, patient, concerned or helpful. I told my older daughter that she can’t be there to protect her sister all the time but I was so grateful that she was there that day to help her.
Thanksgiving weekend made me so thankful for both of my children. On Saturday, we went out for breakfast and the waitress commented that we were having way too much fun for one table. We did a bit of shopping, watched a movie, ate together, played a board game together and all 3 of us stayed up until 1:30 a.m. We made breakfast on Sunday and lounged around all in the same room just hanging out talking and watching t.v. We made cookies, looked at old photographs and laughed so much. Sunday night they went out with their dad but got dropped off at my girlfriend’s house, where I went for dinner. On Monday, again we spent the entire day together. We wanted to go to a new corn maze that a local farm just had designed this year but it was raining and windy. I took my younger daughter to her tap solo practice and then we made brunch, relaxed all day and spent the evening with another family for Thanksgiving dinner. I drove my daughter to the ferry Tuesday morning and she thanked me repeatedly for the weekend we shared.
My daughter is doing very well at university. She has met many new friends, loves her roommate, loves her classes, has gone out with my nieces who live in Vancouver a couple of times, is trying new activities, loves her campus and school but most of all I think she loved coming home.
21 thoughts on “Homecoming”
Sounds like you all had a great weekend, I’m so happy for you all 🙂
Slutly might cream in her panties after reading this but here goes…
I like hearing about your trials and tribulations with Humpy/ affair/ divorce and the fall out of all that. I see that you still struggle with the pain. We can all agree that it is a kind of pain that takes time to move thru. Never said over. Moving thru it. For some people this type of pain is never really over. U learn how to cope and u learn to look at your pain differently.. as an internal barometer or warning system. When u have prepared u can ride thru most storms…hopefully avoiding damage. But sometimes damage does happen and happen again. In families with children… U also live thru your childrens pain. You can hopefully be a role model and be secure enough in your own coping to help yr children navigate healthy thru their pain.
Kids are given the ultimate shit sandwhich.
Humpy replaced you seemlessly and well the girls really had no other choice but to be a part of their dads life with her. She is there. Your ex was not sensitive to the fact that perhaps he moved on… But your kids still lived in another life and he selfishly needed them to accept his new one. ‘ I like Sluty therefore you will too’ Again, classic Narc thinking. It wont change.
Today I take acception to your blog about your daughters comments and feelings. She shared something with u that didnt need to be shared on this blog. Your daughter may have told u something to get back into yr good graces. Kids tell us stuff that they think we want to hear. Not cause they want to lie… But they want us to love them. Your strained relationship with yr eldest will only become more strained if u reveal her feelings. If your daughter wants her father to know those thoughts or feelings she can let him know. Ya did a bad mommy thing.
And lets just say your child has learned some manipulation techniques from Humpy… And she needs something from you… She has now alligned you by making u believe she dislike her dad and Sluty.
Maybe she didnt. Maybe she is being genuine and is trying to ‘ come home’
You will do yourself and your child a huge diservice by outing her thoughts and feelings… Cause and the end of the day … Thats all they are… Thoughts and feelings… Not truths.
When your child tells u anything about her father or his GF… Keep it to yourself. Your kids need one person that they know will not exploit or use them or what they say to further the animosity between parents. Not one to tell moms what their jobs are… But today I am. Listen. Listen to your children. What they chose to share with you is private and a piece of their heart. Dont use it.
Now that Sluty has creamed her panties… I will add…
Kids have a way of figuring out who is there for them. Eventually they will gravitate to the parent who keeps it real and is honest with them. And if they dont … There is nothing u can do. Humpy deserves to have a relationship with his kids… But thats his job now. He doesnt manage it well… Its on him. He prefers racquetball to time with his kid… Oh well. There is nothing u can do. And truth is he will never see the girls as the same priority. Nothing u can do. Let it go. All u can control is u.
Be the rock that your kids need. Your kids need to be able to tell u that they love their dad, hate their dad, hate whatever , love whatever… Its for u to listen. Thats all they need. They think he and Sluty are the best thing since Starbucks… Oh well. Your response ‘ i am glad you are having amgood time’ they say ‘ i hate him . He always thinks about himself’ Your response’ i am sorry you feel that way. Wanna talk? ‘
Feelings are not truths. Dont confuse them.
Hi The Clip,
I am not sure what comments you are referring to. I didn’t say she hated her dad or the other woman. She commented that he was an asshole for what he did to me but that just describes her opinion of one of his actions and that is not new news to him. It is not her opinion of him in general.
I think when she was talking to the dog saying, “You hate Janice, too,” she was referring to me hating Janice, not her. She had recalled (I previously wrote about it in a long ago post) about her dad taking Bingo to Janice’s one time while he was screwing around and it upset her that he involved the dog. It is a child’s odd and perhaps misplaced anger as I am sure the dog has no opinion. She mentioned it again when we were talking on Friday night. Especially because my ex and his girlfriend are reading the blog I don’t share what my kids say negatively about them as I don’t want it to come back on my kids as punishment or for there to be any repercussions. I know they would tell my children I shared that information and as you point out, I want my kids to know they can talk to me about their feelings.
Quite honestly, I don’t want to know anything about their time with their dad and/or the other woman. I don’t ask. When they say something negative about the other woman I just say, “Well, lucky daddy” or something light like that or I have said that I am sorry she makes you feel that way or they made you feel that way.
What I will share is specific incidents, like the kayak incident because maybe if they read about how they made my daughter feel it might help them to change their actions. I want them to love my children, not ostracize them and make them feel unwanted and unloved. They have done that far too much. Maybe my posts are working because they are actually taking my younger daughter on November 7 to go to Vancouver to see her sister with them and they are staying overnight in a hotel. Sad for me that Janice gets to spend family time with my children but it is what it is. The same was true when they went on vacation over the summer. I know my children would rather I be there than her and it is really weird for my younger daughter to have to share a hotel room with them as she already talked to me about that but it is all part of the life my ex has created. They can say “no” I don’t want to go or they can take advantage of any daddy time they can get. They want a relationship with their dad and I want them to have that as well. I can’t control who he keeps company with.
There are some very specific things the other woman has done and said to my kids that makes my blood boil but I haven’t shared it here. I have even tried to give her the benefit of the doubt in my mind that she doesn’t have kids so doesn’t know how to have a relationship with them, or that her maturity level does not provide her with the ability to handle the feelings of young girls over her own feelings or that she has no clue how much she has hurt my children so she dismisses their treatment of her as them just being rude children, or that my children are a reminder to her of the family she tore apart and maybe deep down there is some level of guilt about that so she ignores them or she simply isn’t equipped to deal with the situation she placed herself in or she just couldn’t care less if she has a relationship with them. I think all of those things are true but she has definitely made my younger daughter feel inferior to my older daughter and both my children see that. She is careless and selfish and I bet my girls’ father doesn’t even notice and if he does he doesn’t have the balls to stand up and protect his own children at the risk of losing the other woman.
I do thank you for your thoughtful advice and for always sticking up for me when Sally and Happy and the rest of their posse decide to gang up on me. I think if they had actually cared to hear the experiences of other people who have been affected by cheaters they might have gained some insight. However, they would never want to remove judgment from me or any commentators for fear they might have to really look at their actions and accept responsibility for the damage they have caused so many other people.
They have been very quiet lately so I am hoping they tired of their game and have moved on to a kinder, gentler way of living.
Well, i think u hit the nail on the head… You said ‘ Because maybe if they read about…..might help to change their actions’
You are trying to change them. You are trying to make them see a side that they cant/wont see. You assume that they see it the same way u do and they dont. You have no influence. You have no say. Let it go. You are not responsible for their actions. You are not going to school them. You will not make them see the light. You control u. Thats it.
In my opinion this post was a dig and an attempt to use yr daughters words to provoke and hurt their dad. You quote your daughter’ my sister hates dad’
Unless your ex has a piece of coal where his heart should be… Thats a painful thing to hear ( its probably a bigger assault on his ego… But thats a whole other story) .
You daughter feelings and statement dont need to be included here. They just dont.
I encourage you to blog and vent. Its your feelings and your pain. Dont interject your childrens feelings or statements. They will sort thru their relationship with their father. If he is a douche now he will be later. Its not for you to control. You need only support the relationship. If you can stop playing tit for tat… For whatever your intention, albeit to show Sluty and Humpy ‘ the way’ or to dig at them.
Take the high road where yr children are concerned. Their parent is off limits to u.
Now i am sure Sluty is eager to applaude this but if she agrees with me then she will be forced to agree with the rest of my posts. So she cant do it.
Find what you are really trying to do with this blog. If you are wanting to heal then explore your feelings and dont exploit your children’s.
I never know what I am going to write when I start to write. There is never an agenda on my part to make a dig at my ex or his girlfriend. It does make it more complicated with their involvement on my blog but I am trying not to allow them to influence me. I always just have a vague idea of how I am feeling about a situation and then I just tend to report what transpires or what I am dealing with or feeling. My children are a huge part of how I experience what happened to our family as a result of infidelity. My main point with sharing our conversation was that, despite my ex’s attempt to say the kids are fine and have moved on, they are still suffering and struggling. I was only trying to show that my older daughter is taking on the burden of her sister’s relationship with her dad. I told her, and I stated in my post, that my younger daughter doesn’t hate her dad from what I have seen. I don’t believe at all that my olderd daughter was trying to manipulate me and I was not using our conversation to in any way hurt my ex. I think this was a genuine concern on my daughter’s part and I never would have thought this would be one of her concerns. They were very honest moments of us working through her feelings and mine for that matter together. I was actually surprised about how unselfish her feelings were and that she has such a strong love for her sister. It is harder to be intimate and vulnerable publicly with feelings when you know an ex and a girlfriend could care less about your pain and in fact mock it. I am trying not to care what they think and one way I am not going to be controlled by them is to just continue to share as honestly as possible. I don’t think I betrayed my daughter with my what I shared. There are children of divorce that have contacted me through my blog because they are relating to shared experiences with my children. I have learned that they are healing and benefiting from hearing about my children’s experience. It might sound irresponsible, but I try not to think about the consequence of what I post because then it takes away from the authenticity of sharing the good, bad and ugly of my experience. I am just being real. I don’t believe I am at all exploiting my children.
The Clip has so many good points here. Please listen and take to heart. It’s the children that most need protecting. Where husband/gf did not take that to heart when they chose to enter into an affair, it is still your position as their momma to always guard and protect them. Keeping their comments/feelings private is a must to honor their trust in you. And I also agree, opinions and comments aren’t always necessarily truth, there are so many filters behind everything we say and feel. But please do keep their trust by keeping what they say and share with you out of this.
Wow who would have ever thunk it?? theclap and me on the same page about something. I guess the medication and shock therapy is finally working for you. Glad to hear it and don’t stop the treatment!!
As to you Togetherabandonned…..why don’t you start by telling your readers the truth rather than distorting the facts for your own benefit. This blog is not about helping others going through something similar. It’s for you to make hurtful statements to the ex and the ow (as the clap would say) because you know they are listening. You still are hurt and want to get back and take whatever dig you can. That’s fine, but leave the kids out of this.
So let’s clarify a few things shall we?
The ex didn’t play hockey on Friday and not get the younger daughter. The ex explained to the daughter that he would pick her up 10 mins later than usual and then they would have their regular night together. The blogger then said she would pick up the daughter.
You say on the Saturday the ex “did his own thing” so didn’t spend time with the kids. Yeah the ex was at a wedding.
The Sunday you left out an important little detail about yourself. The ex and the ow were enjoying a nice day and evening with the kids when guess who cuts in? The train wreck Mommy Dearest TogetherAbandonned. Why you ask? Because she was drunk at 7pm and wanted her oldest to come drive her home.
Why are you commenting on something you were never even a part of? You know nothing about their trip to Ontario. You know nothing about their time kayaking. You weren’t there. You make up stories and twist and turn things to make the ex seem like a monster and yet you’re this dainty little flower of a mom who’s been taken advantage of.
What’s the purpose of these stories? How is that helping someone?
theclap and In My Opinion make a very good point. Keep the kids stories between you and them. You betray their confidence just so you can have your 15 minutes of fame with this blog and you will be the one paying the price for that.
You/he (whoever you want to pretend to be) told our daughter he was playing hockey. The fact of the matter is that this happens every Friday night he is supposed to get her. He plays hockey instead and tells her he can’t pick her up as per her schedule as his schedule is the priority. She is the last group to dance on Friday night and the studio closes immediately after. A teacher has to stay with her until she is picked up. It is pitch black in the isolated studio parking lot and she is not allowed to be left alone. He has failed to show up before on his Friday night and our daughter is nervous that will happen again and then the teacher would have to be responsible for her. Bottom line is that she has to be picked up at 7:45 p.m. sharp on this night. If the studio were still open and she could wait inside it would be very different. I picked her up as I usually do when you do not fulfill your obligation. I do it to take the stress and pressure off our daughter and because she asks me to. Dave could have come and picked her up at our place afterwards to spend the evening with her but he didn’t. If his time line was true, he should have been able to be outside my place by the time we get home (10 minutes and it would lessen his drive), yet he doesn’t. He never does.
Yes, you had a wedding on Saturday. Sounds like a great excuse to use to not see your kids if it was a one time thing and you made it up to them but every weekend you are supposed to have our daughter you have an event that you place above her. Always some more important event. Why don’t you contact her to spend time with her instead this Saturday. That has never happened before. Wouldn’t that be nice for her.
On Sunday, the girls said they were at Starbucks with you and on their way home. I said they could come to where I was and our daughter could drive as I did have wine with dinner or I could meet them at home. I gave them the choice. I would have been a bit later getting home because I wouldn’t have taken a chance having any alcohol in my system. You have a drink and drive. I don’t feel comfortable doing that even though if I don’t feel any effects of the alcohol. Just being responsible. The girls would have been fine for an hour at my place until I got there but they wanted to come and get me. Our daughter wanted to drive and see my friends and they wanted me to be home with them to start some of the things they wanted us to do together.
What about Monday? It was a holiday the entire day. No mention about not seeing your children this day? No big activity you can use as an excuse?
Share your kayak story if I have twisted something or misunderstood our daughter’s experience. This is my blog remember and I will relay my experience. Easy for you to claim it isn’t true and not offer your version of the truth. Did you not put her in a single kayak for her first time kayaking while you went in a double kayak with Janice on a very rough, choppy day on a very large body of water? Did you not yell at her while she struggled? Did you stay beside her while she kayaked? Why would I even know this story if it didn’t make a huge impact on our child?
Just stop hurting us and maybe I can report wonderful positive things about you. I think your appearance and activity on my blog supports who the person is that is trying to smear the character and reputation of the other for the sole purpose of causing damage.
I would love to report that you agreed to pick up your daughter tomorrow night from dance when I asked you if you would like some extra time with her. You said “no” to me because you had no intention of doing anything to help me. I am happy to say that when our daughter texted you about it you agreed. Why play games and be difficult and why feel you have to say no to me thinking it is punishment to me.
I would love to report that you agreed to pay your share, as per our mediation agreement, of her jazz solo choreography fee, her dance shoe invoice I sent you, and her competition fees for Oregon you have in your possession. I would love to share that you actually kept your word after 5 months of providing and following up with you regarding the sponsorship program for her dance. Just give an answer.. I don’t even care if it is “No” but just respond one way or another if you are going to support PYP. Don’t tell me to send you information that you are going to pass on to the appropriate people and then fail to keep your word again.
Please let me share what a wonderful, responsible father you are being. Let me give encouragement to all the single parents who are struggling to collect payment from another parent that there is hope for them that a parent can turn around and decide to put their children’s needs first. Please let me report that you actually left hockey early or decided not to play just so you could be with our children instead or that you thanked me for getting her when you didn’t and that you came and got her after your number one priorities.
It is just impossible to deal with a narcissist on any level. You will never empathize with the feelings or understand the needs of others including your children. You require excessive admiration and are highly susceptible to flattery so you are eating up TheClip’s support of your position. You have a grandiose sense of self-importance so of course anything you want to do supersedes your obligations, legal or otherwise. You are arrogant, abusive, have haughty, rude, arrogant behaviours and attitudes. You are highly reactive to criticism so cannot accept anything I say about you on this blog that might paint you differently than you want to be seen and this is also why you so negatively and aggressively attack anyone else who comments negatively about you. You are self-righteous and defensive, and you react to contrary viewpoints with anger and rage. You project on to others qualities, traits and behaviours you can’t accept in yourself. (I rarely drink alcohol at all and you try to paint me as a drunk when you drink excessively). You think that other people exist to serve your own needs. I can list example upon example, Dave. You are a narcissist!!
All aboard!!!…..Cray cray train leaving the station…..Destination – Togetherabandonned Fantasy land….toot toot!!
Considering what Togetherabandonned has written in the above blog post and many, many, many others, It’s time to introduce her to something. Please read below:
“The Parental Alienation Syndrome is the deliberate attempt by one parent (and/or guardian/significant other) to distance his/her children from the other parent and in doing so, the parent engages the children in the process of destroying the affectional ties and familial bonds that once existed…”
The alienating process develops over time and the distancing between the children and the targeted that occurs includes some or all of the following features:
The alienating parent speaks badly or demeans the targeted parent directly to the children – the disparaging comments made by the alienating parent to their children about the targeted parent can be implicit (“I am not sure I will be able to afford to send you to camp because “Mom” or “Dad” does not realize how much you enjoy it”) or explicit (“Mom/Dad” left us because he/she never cared enough about you to keep our family together”).
The alienating parent speaks badly or demeans the targeted parent to others in the presence (or within audible distance) of the children.
The alienating parent discusses with the children the circumstances under which the marriage broke down and blames the targeted parent for its failure.
The alienating parent exposes the children to the details of the parents’ ongoing conflict, financial problems and legal proceedings.
The alienating parent blames the targeted parent for changes in life style, any current hardships; his/her negative emotional state and inability to function as before and conveys this to the children.
Allegations of sexual, physical and emotional abuse of children are often made.
Alienated children come to know that in order to please the alienating parent, they must turn against the targeted parent.
These features exemplify the diagnostic criterion set out by the late Dr. Richard Gardner in his discussion of the Parental Alienation Syndrome. Dr. Gardner’s early writings are now supported by empirical research on PAS conducted by numerous academics, thus adding credence to PAS’s validity and existence.
So go back and take a refresher course of what our dear friend has blogged about over the years. I’ll remind you:
1. Speaks badly of the ex in front of the children.
2. Demeans the ex in front of the children.
3. Discusses circumstances of marital breakdown and even involved children in process of removing belongings from the home.
4. Blames the ex for changes in lifestyle
5. Says children can’t do activities due to financial hardships caused by ex.
6. Discusses divorce proceedings with children.
7. Discusses financial details.
8. Allows children to read mediation agreement.
Shall I go on……
You are preaching to the wrong parent.
Proof is in the pudding Togetherabandonned…..read your blog.
The key to all of this….and what the blogger fails to see, recognize or understand, is that her behavior is detrimental to the children and has long reaching effects on them. That’s not to absolve the ex, so relax theclap, it actually dovetails what your saying. Also what I’ve been saying. Leave the children out of it. There is no place for negative commentary in any form or manner when the children are involved plain and simple. Like this blog. It’s easy to find, and in this day and age if they don’t know, they will soon. So smarten up and do what’s best for your children as you claim.
Your obstinence towards this issue makes it clear who is the most important to you. YOU. If it was the children, you would never allow them to hear the things they have or see the things they do. They would be protected. Not exposed.
I don’t mind that you shared her feelings, because you stopped at divulging damaging things about her. I don’t know if your ex will use this info against her in a conversations but that’s on him, he could also just ignore your blog and leave you alone. I think you should stop replying to your trolls because it’s useless. She is reaching out to you, and teenage life is always weird. If she feels ok, that’s good- mommas always worry way too much and kids always have to figure some out on their own. At least she knows she can talk to you now. That’s important.
Oh Sluty…. ya took the bait again. All anyone has ro to is thump u on the head and throw u in the boat. But your the kind of fish that gets thrown back in the water… And bites again.
Here is the thing Sluty, ya cant call me crazy one day… And then applaude my post the next day. That reflects that you only agree with what u want to hear …. Or anything that reflects poorly on Abandoned on not you. Doesnt work that way.
you know everything I have said is the truth. You shot yourself in the foot today. And your big bass flapping mouth took the bait again. Thump! Back into the water you go! See ya on the hook tomorrow.
Oh theclap….your hick town, backwoods, psychology really goes to show how that tinsy, tiny, itty, bitty little mind of yours works.
By your logic, then you must agree with everything I’ve said because one minute you’re criticizing me and the next you’re criticizing the blogger? Which one is it?
Do you see how dumb your thought process is??
And for the record I do think you’re crazy as fuck. But after you are released on a day pass, you have moments of clarity that clearly passes quickly.
Get back on the meds girl.
Objectivity in discussion. It is only my opinion. Take it or leave it. I dont get all hot a bothered about it. Sluty, you however do. And u constantly use deflection. Are you a politician? Maybe a career change?
Stick to the discussion Sluty. Dont trail off about my trailer park education…
You defelct because you cant possiblly address the truth. If you could address the conversation instead of deflect people would be more inclined to see yr side of the story. But when it hits a little too close to home… Ya got no defense. So you deflect. Create another point or try to anger the other person by throwing in some personal jab to turn the conversation away from you or the problem u help create.
Politician… Think about it Sluty. You get your own platform… Ooooohhhh ahhhhhhh!
No theclap. You just don’t know who I am so I can’t answer your questions that you pose. Maybe you’ve had too much moonshine or ur daddy didn’t luv ya, I’m not sure what ur issue’s are, but you seriously need medical intervention.
How’s single life treating you? I know that because there’s not a guy living that would want to kiss that sour puss.
Its sad when there is a divorce. And it is sad when children have less time with their father than they used to have. And ofcourse it is difficcult for children when they start to meet new partners of their parents. Lets just hope that there are not to many. As some people tend to have a string of new partners coming and going after their divorce. A good idea for children is that they have their own blog or facebook so that they can share their own feelings and or hurt with their friends and acquintances. With children of their own age. Also it is good that they have one on one moments that they can be with each of their parents again. Just a day with one on one meeting. So that they can share from their heart. Children need that. So set that up. And for example at their birthdays, that at their birthdayparties their father can come. Those are healing things, it will be good to plan those things. Focus on that. But let them have one on one moments with their dad, thats really good. They can have father daughter days, there are even conferences for that. For whole weekends, so healing!!! The children must be the focus point for both the parents. Lets zoom in on that. And you will see that there will be a better atmostphere then.
That is exactly what both of my children crave yet unfortunately their dad won’t see them without the other woman. I think he is doing himself and our children a disservice. My kids get me 100%. They know they are welcome to join me and my friends if they like but I protect my one on one time with my children. It is especially unfortunate because dad only sees our youngest daughter one day/week for dinner on Thursday nights and he picks and chooses when and if he will see every other weekend. Those are the times he specifically includes our daughter on his time with his girlfriend, not the other way around. It is clear it is always about what is convenient in dad and girlfriend’s schedule. I think it stems from my husband’s insecurity to not be with the other woman. Maybe Janice will stay in his life, maybe not, but it would be nice to think that his relationship with his children is permanent so he would make them the priority. It hasn’t worked out that way yet. Cat’s in the Cradle. Right now they would love to see him but in the future it may not be that way because of the example he has set.
When an expartner is in a new relationship, they will feel insecure about the new relationship in the beginning. Not only about if it will last but also about if this is what he wants finally. And a new relationship needs concentration so they mostly need all their attention to this new situation. Specially when they are whatsapping with several women at the same time. So the children are then on the backburner for a while. But that will change when they are starting to relax in the new relationship and when they feel it is for the long run. So it will happen. When they feel settled down and relaxed they will start to spend time with their children again. So you will notice a good change then .