Monthly Archives: December 2014

heart disease and heartache in women's health

Fight the Lady Killer

I love Barbra Streisand. I have always thought she is beautiful. I love her voice and a dream came true when I got to see her in concert in Toronto. I love her movies; whether she acts or directs. I love her passion. She uses her gift of voice to make money to enable her to fund projects that are important to her. She
uses her voice and position of power and admiration for her talent as a force of good to speak about her passions.

One of her passions is advocating for women’s health with respect to fighting heart disease. On Dr. Oz today she said that she cannot bear gender discrimination. She considers women to be treated as second class citizens in that they still earn less than men in the work force, represent only 19% of congress and in the area of medical research they have only conducted heart disease studies over the last 50 years on men. Even the laboratory mice are male.

More woman die of heart disease than men. One woman dies of heart disease every minute. Women die of heart disease more than all cancers combined. More young women are dying of heart disease today and this trend is growing.

The Yentl syndrome, named after Barbra’s 1983 movie that she directs, stars in, co-writes and co-produces, is a term coined in the medical community where a woman has to present as a male with the same risk factors in order to be given equal medical treatment to that of a male. Women aren’t taken seriously so if they don’t present with heart disease symptoms like a man then a lot of times they are misdiagnosed, can be sent home and then die. Women are actually advised to lie to save their lives. If you suspect that you are having a heart attack you should mimic male symptoms of heart attack and say you are experiencing chest pain and left arm pain in order to get the tests that are required to determine if you are actually having a heart attack.

Barbra Streisand wants women to be powerful. To know themselves and care about themselves and to take precautions in life. The Barbra Streisand Women's Heart Center is doing ground breaking research. Secret risk factors that have been identified above the typical high blood pressure, family history and diabetes as indicators for heart disease risk in women include irregular menstrual periods, pregnancy complications, migraine headaches with auras, and autoimmune diseases. Symptoms for women include stomach indigestion, reflux, heartburn, back and shoulder pain.

An interesting analogy was made about the condition of women’s hearts. How many of us are experiencing emotional heartache? Women aren’t cared for enough by others and we don’t care for ourselves the way we should. We are in the centre of so many people’s lives that there are a lot of needs we provide and yet we fail to ensure our own needs are met. How many more of us are even intentionally harmed emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically, spiritually and what does that do to the actual condition of our heart organ on all of those levels?

Turns out the text that my ex-husband sent me today saying the girlfriend he cheated on me with was having an affair with multiple men was a “joke”. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me to take him back. He didn’t like that I implied she could be cheating on him.

How has the last 2 years and the games he continues to play affect my heart?

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Betrayal, infidelity

Early Christmas gift for me!

I was angry at my ex because it was our older daughter’s 17th birthday last Saturday and instead of asking our younger daughter to go for her birthday dinner he invited his girlfriend.

I had contacted my older daughter the Friday before her birthday to see if she wanted to go to the Keg on Sunday for dinner with her sister and me and I added that we will invite daddy to come to. She texted back to say she was already going to the Keg on Sunday with daddy.

I texted my ex to ask why he hadn’t included our younger daughter and he said he didn’t think she would want to go because Janice was going. He subsequently sent our younger daughter an invitation by text saying that Janice was going also but she never even responded to her dad about the invite.

My ex and I were fighting about several other things when I found out that Janice subsequently canceled going to the birthday dinner so I texted my ex the following message:

“Hope your girlfriend didn’t have to cancel because she’s having an affair. Bet you think she’d never do that or are you extra insecure because you know that is exactly what she’d do?”

His response: “??” Then he sent the following: “Have you nothing better to do than harbour feelings like this??”

Today, 2 days after receiving his above message, he texted at 6:04 a.m. “I spent yesterday investigating your claims of infidelity by Janice and it turns out you were right. Not only has she been cheating with one guy there have been several. It sickens me. It makes me realize how much I love and miss you and I’d wish you take me back.”

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Florida, loss, separation, single parent, vacation

Life of Pi

Before my husband and I separated, we had a family vacation planned to go to Florida. We were staying with my husband’s parents for 2 weeks in Englewood and then 1 week in Orlando at Disneyworld.

When I discovered my husband’s affair he sent me an email that read, “Cancel my flight.” The trip was planned for 7 days later. The girls and I still went. My older daughter’s friend ended up coming too. It was certainly not a vacation I would have purposely planned being a single parent taking along my two children and one of their friends. I had to get a rental vehicle on my own and we drove from Fort Meyers to Englewood; to Naples to visit some of my family; to Sarasota to visit my girlfriend and then to Orlando. I bought a GPS but it was an exhausting and stressful undertaking and I spent a lot of time lost.

I still hadn’t had any time to grieve the end of my marriage. There was so much to do to get ready for the trip and I had things to do in relation to my separation. I was very grateful for the time away with my kids and we did create some great memories. Two of my closest friends from Ontario even came down to see me while I was there to offer their support and I got to spend time with one of my best friends who lives in Sarasota.

On the plane ride home I watched the movie ‘Life of Pi’. I remember the words and the scene that left me sobbing uncontrollably. Yann Martel writes, “I’ve never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart.”

Nothing sums out how I feel any better than this. This was my exact experience.

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