abuse of power, adultery, affair, cheating, divorce, separatiion

Times Up!

I watch the news and feel the world.
The emaciated polar bear; the near extinction of Right Whales, the Rohingya Muslims brutalized in Myanmar, the 2 little girls in Oak Bay killed by their father on Christmas Day, their mother who tried to fight in court that it wasn’t in her 4 and 6 year-old daughters’ best interest to be with their dad and the judge who ruled that they should continue a relationship with him. The poached elephants killed only for their tusks and in my area Elk that came down from the snowy mountains only to be shot for sport and left to die. Teenagers shooting up a cat with drugs and then shaving it and tattooing it and posting it on Facebook. A man who randomly killed a stranger just to post the killing on Facebook. Mass shootings. Migrants drowned and trapped. Wars. Homeless people, gang wars, overdoses, children raped and killed and thrown in the trash, children chained for years to furniture and torched, starved by their own parents, racism and stray dogs on the Prairies freezing to death just to name a few of the recent stories that stick to my being.
I believe that the energy we create in our thoughts that ignites and moves us to act on feelings and emotions in our own life spills over into the earth. We are all energy and I think the earth reacts to how we treat it and how we think and care for everything created to live on this earth alongside us. I swear the weather disasters we experienced so much of this year are fueled by us; what we say and do and how we feel. The world is churning up the severest hurricanes, earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, floods and temperature extremes because it reflects back to us what we put out.

The state of my life as a result of my husband’s affair, another woman, separation and trying to get a divorce with a fair and legal settlement feels like the state of the world.
I feel the injustice. I feel the lack of control, the lack of care and I feel the instability. I feel the loss. I feel the cruelty, the selfishness, the hatred, the pain, the helplessness, the senselessness, desperation, fear and the sheer consequences of one person’s poor choice rippling over so many other lives, for what? Because a couple of selfish people acted on what felt fun or good and gave them some feeling of reward.
The “Time’s Up” movement is like an uprising response to all of these events. It speaks of an imbalance of power where people impose their will on others for their own selfish desires and tries to silence victims by threats, lies, more abuse, ostracization, punishment, rejection, ruin, etc.
It feels the same in the world of affairs, separation, and divorce. The perpetrator deceives, threatens, abuses, ignores laws and contracts and agreements, and does whatever they want because they get away with it. The victim has no value. To receive justice is so difficult, exhausting, time consuming, lengthy and unfairly expensive.
I hope the results of the “Me Too” and “Times Up” movement that now turns the table on the perpetrators spills over into all other areas of injustice . Punishment cams swiftly to those outed. It is a life-sentence. Ruined careers, relationships, reputations, money, opportunity, etc.; the very things that gave these people their power, gets stripped away. Perpetrators can’t hide because their victims are talking and being believed and the truth is being corroborated by others. Momentum is building. Hypocrisy won’t protect
We need to be very careful how we treat all life on this planet and my ex should start being careful about how he is treating me and his children. I have always stood up to him. He couldn’t silence my blog with police involvement, trolling and spreading lies and gossip about me on my blog, in his office, to friends, family, the community and our children.
There has been an awareness shift and a cry for action. I hope the results carry into the collective news stories, calmer weather and my life . I feel hopeful.


10 thoughts on “Times Up!

  1. WOW. He was trying to stifle your blog? You should write a book. That’s what I’m going to do. No more hiding what he is and what he did…no more covering up for him and what he is and what he did…no more excused for what he is and what he did. I don’t care if not one single person reads it….it will be out there and I will make sure he knows it.
    You should do the same. Stand up and ROAR!

  2. Oh he tried to silence me. He called the police on me about my blog. He went on pretending to be several different personas and criticized me, spread lies and exaggerations about me, got in fights with other people reading my blog, etc. I deleted a zillion of his comments initially and then I just let the comments post. Why not let the world see the person I am dealing with. I didn’t post the really crude ones like me “fucking aliens and animals” and other just crass and horrific nonsense.

  3. Thank you. Yes, my kids, finally, and it is has taken 5 years, are finding their grounding. I think it will be even better for them when I am finally divorced and my ex has been held accountable to the financial responsibilities that the law sets out and that he agreed to in mediation. It has been so tough for all of us. My oldest is getting great marks during her 3rd year at UBC, has a very kind boyfriend and my youngest had all A’s for the first time in her first semester of Grade 10. My youngest is still committed to dance, has a great group of friends who stay out of trouble and is looking forward to getting her learner’s license in April..

    • That’s amazing. I’m so glad for you and them. I was glad/ heartbroken for your older daughter. She helped you unlock his phone and that made me sad but also so happy that she will know the truth beyond just you telling her. She saw it. She experienced his betrayal.

      I always send good thoughts your way I hope your world gets to good on all fronts soon, including freedom!

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