By fluke, I discovered that Janice was in a committed relationship with a common-law spouse of 12 years when she entered into an affair with my husband.
I called the first Andrews in the phone book when I wasn’t able to get in touch with my husband the night after we talked about reuniting.
When her spouse answered the phone I asked for Janice. He said she wasn’t there. I confirmed it was the same Janice Andrews and when her spouse asked who I was I told him I was the wife of the man having an affair with his wife.
He was shocked and asked to meet with me. He told me there was a Starbucks close to where he lived. I said that I knew that because our spouses were meeting there before coming home to us. I said it was too far for me to go with my children at home. He said he would come to my place and I said, “No.” We agreed to meet at a Starbucks closer to me.
We met at 9:20 p.m. and didn’t have long together because Starbucks closed at 10:00 p.m. I showed him photos and the texts between our spouses. By this point, they had been having the affair for 6 months and I had known for 3. He said he asked his wife if she was having an affair but she denied it.
Shortly after I arrived home from Starbucks, my ex contacted me, seeing that I had been trying to reach him earlier. I told him why I was calling and then asked him if Janice was married. He said, “No.” My older daughter had asked him the same thing when she first talked to her dad after discovering the affair. I asked if she lived with someone. He said, “No.” I reminded him that I had read their texts and he mentioned her “roommate” in one of the texts saying they would have to get together again at her place when her roommate was away again. He said there was no roommate and he would know because he had been to her place. I asked him if he thought that common-law meant a committed relationship because we had lived together common-law before marrying. He asked, “What type of psychological bullshit are you trying to pull?” I told him I talked to Janice’s spouse so he could stop lying. His response, “Bullshit.”
The next night he came to pick up the kids to take them for dinner. He had them wait in his truck and said he wanted to talk to me. I was outside saying good-bye to the girls. I said he could talk to me after as the girls were in the truck waiting. He wanted to know when I talked to Janice’s husband. I said it didn’t matter. He said it had to be recently. I said it didn’t matter. He then told me he was a fuck’n freak and I didn’t know what I had done by disclosing the affair to him. He told me that he had serious mental health issues and if he committed suicide his blood would be on my hands.
One of our girls opened the door to get out of the truck and my ex yelled at them to get back in. I suggested he leave to take the girls to dinner but he wanted to still fight. I remarked that I found it interesting he was so concerned about Janice’s spouse’s well-being now and how convenient for him to want to blame me if he took his own life. I told him that if both he and Janice knew he was fragile then that made their adultery and dishonesty even more unconscionable.
I walked in my house and locked the door.
I never spoke to Janice’s spouse again but I sometimes wonder how he is doing and hope that he realized quickly she was nothing to want to keep and that his mental health issues, if he ever had any, resolved when their relationship ended.