There is always something I can say but, for the most part these days, I am the captain of my ship and I choose to sail in smooth waters.

There are a few of my crew, however, like Confrontational Carl, who starts his rants to me saying, “Girl, how can you just let Janice Andrews think that she got away with being the cunt that she is and that nobody sees that whore for what she did to get the lifestyle she wanted? Everyone knows she just got down on her knees, had no respect for the wife, the kids, her own husband or other women for that matter. She just does what she thinks she needs to do to get what she wants for herself.”

Carl, she has no respect for anyone because she has no respect for herself. It doesn’t matter. He got what he deserves–her. She also got exactly what she deserves–him. They get each other. I get freedom to create any life I want and they are stuck to live in their very tiny circle, in their very tiny work, in their very tiny apartment, in their very tiny life. Carl, can we please just continue to enjoy our world and see what opportunities manifest?

Carl continues, “Didn’t he tell you that Janice was just an opportunity?”

An opportunity for him to show his character, morality and integrity and that he did.

Carl raises his eyebrows, “I hope you let her know he liberally throws around the phrase, ‘Don’t mention this to Janice.’ Remind her that what goes around comes around and that it comes around again and again for her and she is clueless.”

Carl, she knows he is deceitful. He got caught; he didn’t get honest. She is deceitful. Wherever they go, Carl, there they are. I have let them go. Now can we please just steer forward to our next adventure?

Carl is irate. “Does she think people don’t mock her behind her back for screaming that the Freedom Protesters are selfish? They have their own agenda, like she had her own agenda but she seems to forget that she was just as loud honking her horn obnoxiously all over town to get the attention she wanted with no regard for all of those peaceful lives she disrupted. She is a selfish shellfish who is so unaware.”

Carl. Maybe I was the one who needed to become aware as to who my husband really was?

Carl puts his hands on his hips, “Girl, you got that right. Can you believe his relationship status on Facebook still says, ‘It’s complicated’? What the fuck is so complicated for him after 8 years and what does Janice Andrews think about that? He can’t even say he is in a relationship with her. Why has he never submitted what he needs to so you can have that divorce? What is he holding on to? Maybe there should be a Facebook option ‘It’s expensive’. Janice loves expensive. Is she still trying to get him to buy them a house? Speaking of expensive, how does it work if they split? Does he owe her support, too? Janice has definitely made sure she has his balls.”

Are you done, Carl? My ex lost way more than his balls.

Carl sighs, “I am so proud of you. All the fuss they tried to make calling the cops on you how many times making up things you did, knowing full well the only two people who were guilty of anything were the ones making the false allegations. Ya, I am done.”

Carl gives me a huge, long hug. “They ain’t getting away with shit in anyone else’s minds but their own.”